the words you declared to me tonight.
words so simple.
yet, holds so much meaning.

i'll be waiting for you to utter those words to me.
one day.
tonight, you've made that promise.

i'll just wait anxiously.
anxious, but ready.
till then, let's carry on.
and get going
just like always.

we've always been good at that, haven't we?




Everytime I try to take a step at all
I see your face again and I fall

-taufik batisah

was going through some stuff. realised that amkss guides have come a long way.
achieve a lot more awards since my batch.

is it because we left? and that's the reason they are doing a whole lot better? haha.

i'd like to believe otherwise. *ego kicking in. =D
where we were the foundation to their success.
we were the water, and they the flowers.
so proud of them. makes me smile with unimaginable contentment, thinking, i had something to do with what the present leaders has turned out to be. so capable.
it's beyond comprehension. =)

but again, reminiscing about those days reminded me of the politics. oh, the god damn politics. though, it made it a whole lot more interesting. =b

seriously, i missed the drills, the jokes, the gossips, the mingling, and well the instructing and taking charge.
seriously though right, who doesn't like it when people listen and do as you say? come'on, i know you want to say nobody. but hey, it wasn't in an authoritarian kinda way.
my policy: be stern only when needed to. =D
inspite of this, they still called me garang. hmph. am i that fierce? no what.
right? just say right ok.

one day, i wish to go back to that school. and see what have made me become who i am today. from the kentalan sec one-rs, to now, an 18 year old. i loved, my secondary school days. i still do really. great memories i've had in that school. simply splendid.

ouh, did i mention my face was/is plastered on the heritage corner (whatever its called)? along with my then-crush? haha.
don't get me started with crushes in secondary school. would be happy just knowing they were in the same bus, or standing next to us. young and stupid. period.

gd nite all. or in this case, good morning.






- i may just be in love with you; all over again.

i'm a sucker for funerals.

just got back from one. though i knew little about the man, the whole bishan sure seem to know a whole lot about him. he was greatly loved; you could just tell, once you stepped into their house. from family to relatives, to friends, to neighbours. different races, different religion. all came to give their final respect to deceased, allahyarham pak ahmad.

he was known to be one of strong character. with great patience, and kind heart, he was loved by many.

gosh, when the mayat was kafan-ed, people around started to tear. the young, the old, the family, the friends, the chinese, the indians. and me being me, couldn't stop tears from forming up in my eyes.
you people may choose to call me cengeng - a cry baby that is; but i'd rather call me soft hearted. =)

i may not know how the family members and close friends feel, and frankly, i never wish to.
but i couldn't help but empathize. it could be you, in those shoes.
someday.
i wish not to think of that right now. though just now, my mind was running wild.
after saying our goodbyes, and walking back from the funeral, i gave my mom a big hug and kissed her. who knew, it could have been the last time i do that.

let's pray for him.

PERIBAHASA 21ST CENTURY

Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kereta pun boleh undur, terlajak kapal terbang takde gear reverse, sori.

Bersatu kita teguh, bercerai kita kahwin lain.

Alang-alang mandi biar guna sabun & syampu.

Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, isteri mati meninggalkan gelang, suami mati meninggalkan hutang.
(Itulah...lain kali jangan suruh suami beli
gelang secara hutang)

Sebab mulut santan binasa sebab mulut juga...
nasi habis.

Kalau tiada angin masakan pokok bergoyang kecuali kalau ada beruk atas pokok tu.

Biar mati bini jangan mati anak
(boleh kahwin lagi ape)

Biar korek hidung jangan korek tabung.

Kalau padi katakan padi, tidak aku ternanti-
nanti, kalau sudi katakan sudi, kalau tak
sudi, boleh jalan dah..

Tempat jatuh lagikan dikenang inikan pula tempat kena saman.

Kalau tiada rotan, pelempang ajelah..

Pinggan tak retak nasi tak dingin, kalau orang tak hendak tandanya kita tak lawa.

Berapa berat mata memandang, berat lagi ahli sukan yang masuk acara angkat berat.

Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat akhirnya tak masuk Sukan Olimpik jugak.

Kalau ada sumur diladang, boleh hamba menumpang mandi, kalau ada umur yang panjang, bolehlah kita kahwin lari..
(nak tak?)

Kajang Pak Malau Kajang berlipat, Kajang hamba makan satay Kajang lagi best......

Kalau kail panjang sejengkal, belilah kail yang panjang sikit.

Kalau takut dilambung ombak janganlah berumah ditepi pantai, buat rumah jauh-jauh sikit dari pantai, bodoh!

Pecah kaca pecah gelas, kalau dah pecah tu tak reti-reti nak ganti ke...







MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE

Biar putih tulang jangan kuning gigi
(gosok, jangan tak gosok tau)

Malang tak berbau tapi kentut boleh berbau, walaupun tak berbunyi.

Carik-carik bulu ayam lama-lama jadi bulu tangkis badminton, pasti ayam kebogelan.

Air dicincang takkan putus tapi kalau daging dicincang tandanya ada kenduri.

Takkan lari gunung dikejar, tapi kalau tak kejar pun gunung tu takkan lari jugak.

Kalau ada jarum yang patah jangan disimpan di dalam peti,buang aje,beli jarum yang baru

sorry for the long un-updated blog.

went to the bbq for my ig. had great fun. hanim slept over at my place.
then the next day, had class chalet. didn't sleepover though, cos my mom only allowed me to sleep one night.
the next day, came again. this time slept over. and more people was there. if you need the details, don't hesitate to visit lin's blog. =)
there were some glitches that took place. but we had fun anyways.

the day after chalet, went to a workshop. presentation skills workshop, with hanim.
on saturday went out with him.
yesterday, went to geylang for breakfast. then to my grandparents.

i had great fun.










i wanna be happy. i wanna stop with all the facade. i just wanna be me - again.

will not be updating anytime soon.
bye.

the first voice i heard today was yours.
happy, happy, happy me.

i've got to tell you about the other thing; soon.
but how?
- somehow
=/




going out later.
btw, LOREAL eye make-up remover is heavenly. greatest creation ever. muahaha.
GREATNESSS!

i'm missing something.
what would that something be?
would you give me the answer?

would you even know you are the answer?


i hate the words busy & monday to saturday.
bluergh.

happiness, engulf me will you?

finally went to ramen ten. yay! my cousin blanja me. =) then i blanja them ice cream. not much right? but, it's the thought that counts... right? =/

tmr gg to ecp. ig gathering. play bowling, bbq etc. great.
but the thing is, not sure how to get there. LOL.
on the bright side, i have my great friend by my side. we can get lost together. muahahaha.

the day after; chalet. whoot!

and the day after the day after; gender confused males, here we come. BAHH.
overnight. woohoo!
my days are packed. wow-ness.
BUT,
don't worry, i'm sure to see you. =)

btw, wanna sleepover at my place after the bbq tmr? =D








*see you soon.

would my wish for you come true?
we'll see.

my sandals putus yet again.
went out with dyl-do and sa-yee-tah.
but before that, met shid to get graph papers.
abang should be greatful. hmph.
went out of my way alright.

if you're reading this, abang, make sure to tag my board to say thank you.
=D

Today's horoscope;

not that i believe in horoscopes. just that, for today it's true. =) i'm gonna have fun, with or without you. love ya. hmph.

This is perfect astrological weather for being you -- and you know just how to celebrate, don't you? An impromptu gathering of chatty, interesting friends -- the only kind you've got, of course. When was anyone ever capable of saying no to you? Especially when you're offering up the chance to get together for conversation, games and who knows what else -- and that is, of course, always what an evening with you turns out to involve.

Bottom Line
A willful disregard for your feelings shows you a side of someone you should avoid.

muahaha. =D

remember me saying my cousin got engaged on 25th Dec?
well, i just got the photos - today. greatness.
heh.

enjoy.

was suppose to go eat sushi.
but like always, my plans are not always fulfilled.
bluergh.
so much for a great saturday with you.




"Go ahead and plan. Then, get ready for disappointment.." - me

i miss you badly.
i know you know.
hmph.






looking forward to the weekends. =D
getting closer to the chalet. whoot!

i went out with mama today. and she bought me this new shirt. yay! thank you mama. love you many many.

then we ate at delifrance. been so long since i ate there. they have totally evolved. now, you can really call it a restaurant. people to take your order at the table, pay your bill at the table. all that stuff. cool. a little intimidating, but super cool. yeah yeah. im a jakon. whatever. *bluek*

had so much fun with mama. miss hanging out with her. =(

love you mama. =D

i'm on cloud nine.
feeling like a child.

on sat, had kenduri at my house. starting from the last saturday, my family and relatives will be having kendiru-s every month at respective houses. =D i love family gathering. especially when i play with the kids. yay. heh.

i was officially the sound woman and slide on that day. the kids, or rather the girls were like asking me to play this song, play that song for them to dance. haha! and my cousin was the camera woman. haha. cute right?? they were so excited to dance. but of course with some distraction from the even smaller generation, namely amar and khalisyah. they wanted to grab this, grab that. cannot grab, then they'll cry. =(
and i was the slide for amar. i sat on my chair, but sort of slant my body, and let him slide on me. hehe. innovative yes? *smiles as though advertising for darlie comercial.

i love it when the whole clan gathers together. very kecoh. im sure the neighbours heard our loud shrieks and laughter. whoops. =/


so after the kenduri, my grandparents slept at my house. whoohoo! =D cant quite remember what exactly happened.

but i know we went to eat at long john silver the day after kenduri. me, mom, aunt, cousins, granny. =D so kecoh. you see, my nenek is not that sihat. so she uses the wheelchair. btw, wheelchair is one of the greatest invention on this planet of ours. greatness. =D ouh, and did you know that NUS A*STAR students have actually invented wheelchairs that can be controlled by brainwaves? cool, yes? =D

okok, im digressing. so back to the story. we were at long john. ordered, and already sat down in peace. it was kinda cramped up you see. and when i was cutting the fish up, my plate overturned! sheesh. talk about being clumsy. luckily the plate didn't have some liquid or smth. thank goodness. =D not much damage. just the fact of having to tolerate constant teases from my mom for being clumsy, yet again. and part of my self-esteem slowly being chipped away. =/ then go buy stuff at NTUC. after that, we went home. whee!

and today, we went to eat at BANQUET. i didn't order much. just dessert. wasn't hungry. just ngendeng other people's. hehe. after that, jalan2 at tp central. bought some stuff. and we proceeded to my nenek's house. spent some time there. somthing [berita sensasi u! =X] cropped up, so we left extra early.
then me and fatin helped a less fortunate being to the bus line at the interchange. alhamdulillah. it felt nice; to help someone in need. yay us! =D

had great fun. but very tiring. had to take care of the pre-kenduri and the post-kenduri. and things kept on piling up. wonder how my mom do it in the past, when i was smaller. woah, i admire her sey. phee-weet. strong woman.
another strong woman i know is my grandmama. heh. she is sick, her leg hurts constantly, but never have i heard her complain. if it was me, you would probably not hear anything BUT my complaints. heh. does this strong women thing run in the family? =D


well, that's it for now. enjoy you night people! that was long wasn't it...

my cognitive daily grade sucks! *pouts.

wish me luck.


come on, let me hear you say..

i love money,
but
i hate money.

money can make people do a lot of things.
good,
even bad

hidup sederhana lebih baik
tak miskin sangat, tak kaya sangat.
[not too rich, not too poor]

Hakikatnya bahagia itu
Adalah ketenangan
Bila hati mengingati Tuhan
*
**
*
Kita ini manusia
Tak terlepas dari salahnya
Tapi hendak lah sentiasa
Kembali kepada Nya
*
**
*
Hidup tak selalunya indah
Langit tak selalu cerah
Suram malam tak berbintang
Itulah Lukisan Alam
*
**
*
Sifat sabar sedikit berbeza
Ujian yang menimpa sakit dirasa
Tapi dapat ditahan perasaannya
Hanya bermain di dalam sahaja
Di luar tidak nampak terang nyata
*
**
*
Di bayangan mentari aku kealpaan
Dusta dunia penuh kepura-puraan
*
**
*
Lafazlah setulus hati nurani
Bukakan maksud tersimpan di hati
Biar pun pedih menyiksa naluri
Nawaitu tuntutan batin suci
*
**
*
Usahlah engkau selindungkan bayangmu
Renungi asal kejadian dirimu
Berjalan teguh, bukan erti kau kalah
Tebarkan serata jiwa
*
**
*
Usahlah engkau persalahkan kakimu
Andainya rebah, di bumimu sendiri
Mungkinkah ada kesilapan semalam?
Lafazkanlah sejujur hati
*
**
***
**
*

do u think life's a bitch?
well i kinda do sometimes. what do you think?
pen your thoughts, on my taggy.
=D

i'm officially in a state of confusion.







*still hung up on you like before.

the one thing i can look forward to;
all the time.

what's happened?
now what is left are words;
words that fall like acid rain.

don't get me started.
you'll shit in your pants.

Baby if we met each other under a different sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear

thanks hanim, for listening. you managed to calm me down; when i was about to explode.
thanks sai, for your ever so precious advise. most of them made sense. =D
thanks freddy, for cheering me up. i may need that in the future.


love you bitches. <3

i feel like crying...

incredible. simply incredible.

you have no idea how it is, do you? definitely clueless. i may put a strong front. act as if whatever that you say or do doesn't affect me. doesn't hurt me. i may even seem unfeeling to you. well, the truth? behind all the smiles and laughter?


you hurt me!
constantly
and
deeply

happy?


i assume you'll only appreciate me once you find me walking out that door.
i'd hate to do so,
so don't make me.
and when i do walk away, i will never turn back
because,
nothing you ever do would make things right again.

that's when
what you do doesn't matter anymore
it's what you did that's hurting you - eventually.




don't ever comprehend my patience as a weakness.

as hard as i try, i will never be good enough for you.
damn you.

today, went finding a job with hanim. what an experience. funny like crazy!
job for telemarketing - we declined
job for outdoor sales - we cabot-ed

call us cerewet, whatever. it just wasn't suitable. =/




my mom's wish came true. LOL.
love ya mommy! get well soon. muah.

it's evident that a room can tell a lot of a person. enter my room and see how messed up i feel inside.

AAAAHHHH! i'm too young to be feeling this way. =(













ouh, i love oprah winfrey.

thanks for the guilt trip you've got me on.
heard of the line, "it's not you, it's me"?. well, it's time we realise that as overused as this line is, it never fails to explain it all. seriously.

sorry to break it to you, but it's the truth. =/

yesterday, went to cheerobics, supported shid's school. cool. i made a new friend. =) you're a nice guy yasin. lol. as if you're reading. but then again, shid likes to say a lot of things. hmm. ouh well, whatever.

met shid at ang mo kio mrt. was late. i ran ok. literally. forgot the mag i was supposed ot bring her. climbed up the stairs. then brisked-walked-close-to-running to bishan mrt.

then, met some of her schoolmate's at yishun mrt. they had a soccer match with ajc, and they won. congrats. then another two joined at woodlands.

the thing started at 1200, and we were still at woodlands at 1154, so we thought we were going to be late. took the taxi, to ntu. the soccer boys didn't take the taxi. what a great choice. the best, i would say. y? because, when we reached the designated venue, they came 10 minutes later. it's all the taxi driver's fault. he brought us one big round. to make us feel even worse, the actual competition didn't start until 1 1/2 hour later. 1 1/2 hour later!!! sheesh.

all the squads were great. way way better than _ _ _ _. LOL. no hope arh this one.

sadly, her school didn't get into the finals. well, there's always next year. =D

FRIDAY

the whole class; with the exception of nelson and george(so i've heard) cabot class. and go to sentosa! they couldn't afford to skip another lesson of basic science. and besides, they didn't want to lose the chance of gazing into florina's pretty eyes for the last time. =)

anyways, was suppose to meet lin sayang at bishan mrt, but she had other matters to attend to, so i ended up going to habour front alone. met the rest there.

we kicked off the outing by going cycling. shawn hasn't cycled for a long time, so he needed time to get into the groove again. at first, everyone was cycling together, then somehow or rather, we began to split. some were slow, some wanted to go up the slope, some were to darn tired to follow, etc. well, you know what i mean.

OUH! on the way back th e bicycle station, me and dyl raced. paddled, sweated, and dyl managed to do a trick! a backflip with her bike. cool. i think she still don't get the idea that human being can't fly. LOL. she was like superman, note the word like. LOL. love ya dyl! =D

she wanted to clean her wound, at the mini fountain. and not-so-amazingly enough, everyone joined; while waiting for lin. it was very entertaining to watch. LOL. was so tempted to join in, sadly, didn't bring extra clothing. =(((((

today, i was extra quiet. don't know why. there is something bothering me. but can't quite grasp what it is. felt something missing, just something.

on a lighter note, my classmates were awesome; they cheered me up a little - with their crazy enthics. my class was extra noisy today. everyone was extra excited about everything. taking pictures, and all that.

almost the whole class. some-> mia

time and time again,
we fall victims to the undesirables.
as hard as we try to resist,
it's only time till we cave in.





wished today ended differently sayang, seribu kali sayang