just got back from granny's house. great fun, playing with the... KIDS! haha. as always.

it was my mother's idea lah kan. get some props and act out with them. got everyone there on their feet.
should i list all of them out? k here i go alright?

nek mok (granny)
tok ayah (granda)
mama (self - explanatory)
bik ani (aunt)
tanter (aunt)
obek aji (uncle)
syafiq
abdullah
haslinah
- ME -

ouh, and we had two spectators. bibiks (the helpers)
hehe.

talk to him, about some matters. hmm. hope he's doing fine. i'm trying to be as understanding as possible. but i can't help being.. k nvm.

on a happier note, i'm gonna go johore tmr. yay. maybe i should go on retail therapy tmr? hehe.

im sure you would have noticed the lack of updates huh?
since the start of school, i've not had much of a time to spare. really.
the people in my class are like so freaking smart. seriously. i need to stop slacking and start working. more work less play. let's start by reading. reading is good right? not magazines, not novels, but encyclopedias. O_O

the only times i'm not overly stressed and pressured are during the weekends; that is if i'm lucky. =/
hmm. and having to do science 5 days consecutively, does not help. it's just the beginning of school. i hope i can survive.

but my class is cool. i like my class. hope it'll be just as great as the last two semesters. =) SHAWN IS IN MY CLASS. haha. didn't even realise that until the first day of school. heh.


let's be like carbon that sparkles under pressure.
- spoken like a true science student. wahahahha!

good luck nurul.

wanna know more about my classmates? heh. read lin's blog. particularly entry on 16th April.
a tribute to PE-0103, so sweet. =D
heehee.
i'll miss PE-0103 many many. =(



wonder how many times lin's name has appeared in my blog, publicising it. LOL. is that even correct english? hmm. ouh well, whatever. =D

sorry for the lack of updates. heh. been kinda lazy.

school will soon start. way too soon if you ask me. because, i'm not mentally prepared yet.
the new faces, the introductions, out of my comfort zone, the all science related modules. everything is new. and i mean everything. even a new campus. heh.

ouh, except for one thing. i know someone in my class. andrea. i've known her for quite a long time. she was in my OG during my PAE admission at MI. a familiar face. pheew! =D

of course the awkwardness and silences that i predict wouldn't be forever. well, maybe it will be like that for the next few weeks after tomorrow. but definitely not forever.
every new beginning is always difficult. but, the difficult will slowly change and get easier. =) *prays.

to show how much i love school, i'm attending school for 5 days while others spend 4 days. =)

my class ? W36K. this class makes hanim excited. reminds her of money. -_- haha.

okay, enough about school.

i went to tekka the other time, and met 2 people i choose to remember. =b

do you guys remember the advertisment about the zakat. the one, 'hanya tuhan saja yang tahu.'
remember that one? haha! well, apparently, my grandpa is friends with him. forgot his name though. heh. he can talk, like really really talk. a lot more than 'hanya tuhan saja yang tahuuuu.' haha.

disappear. vanish. fade away. perish. be no more.
cease to exist.
could you do that for me?
pretty please?


i may not be able to look at you anymore.
because everytime i see you, i'm reminded of what happened. what i saw.
don't think i didn't see your face when i discovered that. your face says it all.
hah. my guard is up again.
thank yourself.


ouh, another thing. make good friends with this hand of mine. you'll be seeing more of her. =)

it's amazing how pissed i am.
do all of us a favour and drop dead.
thanks. =)










wow. i may just explode.

i wanted to tell you.
but i never wanted to spoil your mood.
you were so happy. you were in such high spirits.

but i know if i did tell you, it would not make much of a difference.
because,
the only person who can help me is HIM. and of course, myself.
i will not trouble anyone else.
thanks. for not asking. =)

i don't know whether i feel infuriated, dejected or numbed.
actuality? or make believe?
you've always been an inspiration for me to write.
but i realise now that most of the inspiration comes from those three words mentioned earlier.
can't figure out which three? then you're really dumb. =)

what right do you have to say that, when obviously you are the one that is creating this whole drama?
it's been mind games with you in the past. and obviously still is.

i've always been told that two wrongs doesn't make a right.
but three rights make a left. =b

i just wanna scream! =/
patience, you amaze me. all the time.

just got back from my grandpa's at melaka. my grandpa has been in singapore for the past few days. so, my family + my uncle family that leaves at hanim's block, heads off to melaka together to send him back and also to visit the rest at the kampong. =D

highlight of the trip: a cute 7 month old baby my grandma babysits. =) more of that later. =D

we left singapore at night, around 10, 11? yeah. around there. after saying my goodbyes i tried sleeping in the car. but somehow, i just couldn't close my eyes.

i made history! i didn't sleep for the whole 3 hours from singapore to melaka! yay me! heh.
abang didnt come along with us because he had some school thing to attend to. he had to present his team's creation; wheelchair for handicapped sportsmen and sportswomen. which sports? tennis. =)

ok, before i continue digressing, ahem, we reached my grandpa's home around 0100, 0130. when we entered. our 'bed' was already ready. heh. how nice of my grandma. =) while the rest was talking and talking, i couldn't help but sleep.

and at night, i was awaken by someone. someone hugged me tight. so tight it shocked me so bad that my eyes widen. trust me, my eyes almost popped out. the person hugged me like a bolster. literally. i was lying down, facing up the ceiling. the person's leg was across my leg, and hands across my chest. and as i turned my head to face the hugger my heart beat slower. it was my aunty. phewh! what's funny was she hugged me like a bolster. i was like errm.. excuse me.. haha.

right after she let me go, i went back right to sleep. and when i woke up, i got a very pleasant surprise. that surprise was none other than 7 month old muhammad haziq. =D he was very cute. very friendly. he didn't mind me, even when i haven't yet bathed. heh. because, he was the first thing i carried the moment i woke up. =X

he loved me! heh. everytime he was in the walker, he would cry out to me. look at me with his puppy eyes, sad face and stretched arms. and when i carry him out, he wouldn't want to leave me. hehe. how sweet. but honestly, sometimes i feel used. yes, used by this baby. heh. he knows i've got a soft spot for him, so he uses that to be carried around, and to get out of the walker. heh.

when all of us wanted to go out, he was sent back to his dad. so sad. the last i saw of him was in his cute monkey suit. heh.

went to mydin, a shop that has almost everything you a woman would/could ever need. bought loads of stuff. for myself, for others those kirim-ed. one of them is hanim. heh. bought it, white and black. =)

blah2, got back home. went to the pasar malam. bought food. some idiot purposely stepped on my slippers, thought it was funny and giggle with the company the idiot was with.
he claims that if the idiot who stepped on my slippers was good looking, i would not be angry. i was like, no way. i mean, even if the idiot was like drop dead gorgeous and purposely stepped on your shoe would you glee with joy? absolutely not.

guys should just realise that though good looks can get them some, it cannot get them much, and definitely not all. it's the inside. truth, not cliche.

ok, then got home, ate. ate, ate and ate. heh. my tummy is getting boncet-er and boncet-er. =/

the next morning, which is today, left kampong at around 11. reached home around 0130, 0200. finally back in singapore.

yay! can communicate with you again. =D

*got no photos. =/ im sure you would have realised this by now.

did you know

- did you know that if you wish something bad enough, it would actually come true?
- did you know that there is no such thing as coincidences, only fate?
- did you know that no one is bad by nature? that is why, everyone likes it when someone else is good to them?
- did you know that no matter how long we live in this world, there is no such thing as stop learning?
- did you know that no matter how good you think you really are, there is always someone better than you?
- did you know as hard as you think your life is, there is someone that is experiencing something much much worse? so be grateful, for once; at least.
- did you know that everyone regardless of race, religion, or nationality wishes for the exact same thing, happiness?
- did you know by helping others, you help youself?
- did you not realise the universal language is a smile?
- did you know that every parent wishes that their children would get a life much better than theirs?
- did you know that when you give sincerely, what you receive is at least ten folds?
- did you know that those who are unable to accept others are likely unable to accept themselves?
- did you know that doing something you never wish you did can eat you from inside?
- did you know there is such a thing as life after death?
- did you know that taking care of animals and plants can decrease your stress level?
- did you know having something done for you as compared to doing it yourself would decrease your appreciation for it?



and did you know,
you're my strength and my weakness. =)

copyrighted by nunu

15 random things: about me

1. when i'm around people i'm not close to and have no idea what to do, i yawn. even when i'm not sleepy.
2. i secretly wish i could misbehave and do naughty and bad things. but thinking about my parents stops me.
3. i'd rather listen to people, than talk. but at times, i wish people would just not talk.
4. i enjoy my alone time the most.
5. i hate sharing the person/people i love with anyone else.
6. seeing someone else happy makes me happy.
7. i both dislike and like crying.
8. sometimes, i wish i was someone else, someone better.
9. people who suck up disgust me.
10. i'm naturally laid-back, but wished i had more passion in me.
11. i'm grateful for him.
12. i want to make a difference, but am afraid. afraid that my efforts will not be enough.
13. when i look back, there is nothing that i wish i could do differently.
14. once in a blue moon, i have strong likes and dislikes. and when i do, changing my mind would be difficult.
15. i'm most stubborn and pampared around the person/people i love.

4 days is way too long.
it's going to be even longer when i go to malaysia this weekend.
friday to sunday.


one whole week?! woah. =/

it's so difficult when no one around you knows.
and you feel you're made to shoulder everything yourself. you feel so helpless, so trapped.

but i've been in this world long enough to know that no matter how bad things are, there is always something better on the other end of the road. no matter how short or how long that road is.

fact of life; no one is given more than they can take. so, we can always get through the tough times that we've encountered, is encountering, going to encounter.

don't ever feel like you're alone.
truth is, you're never really alone. it's up to you to realise, who for you, that person is.
i know i'll always got HIM. what about you?


though times may get tough and tougher,
i know i/we can get through this, like i/we have the other. - me




so let's all be a little bit more thankful than we have been yesterday. =)

for the past few days, i'm still awake around this hour. =(

something is bothering me.. again. hmph.

well, guess i should bring myself closer to HIM. no use telling people what's wrong with you, because they can't help. well, maybe a bit. you'll feel better when you share with someone. provided of course, that person hears and listens. =) but ultimately, it is you who can make you feel better. that is if you choose to.

like i always say, in everything that you do, there are always more options than one. there is never a situation where you only have one possible answer. of course, mcq question in the exams is not one of these situations, thank you very much. =)

i've got two choices; make it or break it.





ouh, and fyi,
you were in no position to judge.
just forget about what you said. you're not hurting anyway. i am.

just got my phone bill today. so upset!
singtel auto-roam signal is too good for their customers (in this case it's maxis). i'm sure everyone who went for the chalet would remember that if you were to walk to some part of the house, your auto-roam, if you have any, would get activated. even if you were in singapore! at changi to be exact.

i was on the phone with him right? and even if your incoming call's free, when you auto-roam is activated, it doesn't matter. so, i was freaking charged for auto-roaming when i was really in singapore! in singapore! i wasn't even at woodlands check point or gelang patah. in fact, even if i was at woodlands check point or gelang patah for that matter, and i talked on the phone, i would not be charged for auto-roaming. because by then, the strength of the 'local' signal would be strong enough to detect my phone.


ARGH! charged for $10.53 =( i know i know, $10 is probably not a lot to some people, but for someone who is broke (ahem; me), it is a lot ok.

i was so happy when i found dearest rafiqah had a blog on friendster. finally, some other means for us to check on each other, to see what has been going on in each others life. heh.
that blog was under her friendster account, right? so, my spirit was dampened when i realised, though it may be under her account, it wasn't her blog! -_-
sigh. ouh well, whatever.


yesterday went to hanim's house for some thingy; project? right. haha.
quite fun arh. the atmosphere was so positive. quite cool. such big big dreams. and they are like one big happy family. =)
wah, could i be like that one day? heh. but i guess, for now, im gonna concentrate on my studies first. i can multi task, but i don't do a very good job at it. =b when the guy, err, what's his name? abang hanif? hafif? hanafiah? aiyah, don't know lah, was telling me in detail how it worked, i was like woah. made me so excited. $_$ haha.
then most probably meeting kak norlin? norzlin? haiz. don't know lah. so anyways, as i was saying, probably meeting her on wed. to return the book.

enough sharing, im off.


missing you. =(

30th march,
was at my brother's graduation ceremony from 19th ERS; CD.

again, i have doubts.
it's like it's happening all over again.
i thought my doubting days were over since that day.
but i guess, my insecurities and paranoia will stay for a little longer.
gosh, i hate that.
when will it ever be over? =(
but the days where i don't get to see you, are the very days those insecurities and paranoia creeps right back in.
though when i hear your voice, see your face, slowly, those things don't matter anymore.

i never did know you felt that way too. guess you're just human. we both are. moments when i get to see that side of you, makes me realise how much i want to take care of you, more and more everyday. =)



hugs and kisses
nuwul.