thanks to all that visits my blog! yay-ness.
boo to those who don't tag.
haha.


cheer up everyone. life's too short for us to think about all the bad things that's happened to us, and forget about what we have been blessed with for all the pass years.
remember, whatever things that we go through, there's a reason to it. and only we can discover what that is.








i miss lin, sai, dyl, jam. where are you smelly boobies?
i miss rashidah, freddy, minah. where are you bitches?

you rocked my world. now you're gone, and there's no more quakes up here. it's suppose to be a good thing. but i think i miss it you. grrr. ok shut up.

got sabo-ed. grrrr.

- 7 Random Facts About Me -
1) constantly in a state of confusion
2) keep a lot of secrets. so don't worry, if you tell me anything in confidence, i won't blabber it to other people. =)
3) liking classical music more and more.
4) am happy being happy.
5) love animals, and want to work with them one day.
6) loves reflecting and reminiscing.
7) constantly thinking about things that aren't true half of the time. better known as paranoia.

- 7 Things That Scare Me -
1) Allah.
2) going to hell.
3) losing my family members and loved ones.
4) waking up one day and realising im not at the place where i've slept before. aaah!
5) the end of the world.
6) ghost! *screams with a loud hailer while running all over the place and waving arms in the air.

- 7 Random Music At The Moment -
1) you and me - lifehouse
2) dancing in the moonlight - van morrison
3) don't love you no more (i'm sorry) - craig david
4) unbelievable - craig david
5) stupid girls - pink
6) gelisah mimpi - liza hanim
7) still water - maksim

- 7 Things I Like Most -
1) keropok bakar. yummy yum yum.
2) comedy. cos i love laughing.
3) doing and thinking about things that makes me very happy!
4) dancing.
5) disturbing my dad, mom, 2 brothers. muahahaha!
6) playing with the small cousins.
7) being loved and appreciated.

- 7 Things I Say The Most -
1) yar that's why!
2) hahaha
3) whoops
4) ouh really?
5) what do you mean?
6) hello
7) omg.

- 7 People Who Need To Do This -
1) everyone
2) anyone
3) someone
4) no one
5) the one
6) dont want?
7) just one! =)

you came, and you left.


for now, my doors are shut.

i don't hate you. i could never bring myself to.
i forgave and i've never held grudges. and i'm not going to start with you.

that chapter of my life's ended and a new chapter begins.
i've moved on.




i'm happy for all that's happened before this, but i'm also glad that this happened.
no regrets on my part. i'm over it.



it's over.
we're over.




promises are there to be broken. no?
don't make promises you can't keep. better yet, don't make any. =)

will this be a trilogy?
*gasp.

i was so happy just now, i was literally performing for my dad. while he was watching world cup mind you. he was sitting on the chair tgh rilek rilek, then came his only daughter singing and dancing right in front of him, blocking his whole view! heeee. =D

know the oldies song by barry manilow, "can't smile without you"? well i was singing that to him, swaying left to right. wahahahahaha!
he thought that my performance was soooooo good that he gave me a standing ovation. haha! no lah. he stood up, but then quickly moved away and lie down on the carpet. -_-
he gave me the what-are-you-up-to-now-my-only-daughter-look that i am so totally used to. heh.

i heart my ABAH!
happy belated father's day to every single dads out that. especially to ABAH! he's the bestest dad ever ever ever ever ever! =D

DADs,
the one that works hard to make sure their family have food on their plates.
the one that don't say he love you, but you know he does, and how very badly want to say it.
the one that wishes for you to do better in life than he did.
the one that taught you the right from wrong.

MY ABAH,
the one i love.
the one i look up to.
the one i wished i was like.
the one who is patient with all challenges that's been set in his way.
the one that makes me want to be an even better person every single day.
the one that reminds me everyone is worth some respect.
the one that keeps me grounded.
the ONLY one that can make me stay awake, even really excited , listening to history. and i love them!
the one that carried me to the doctor, on his back when i was in primary school after getting my leg cut from the motorcycle. (can you imagine if that happened to me now? patah patah kaki bapak aku, kecian. =/)
the one that means a lot to me, and i would do anything to make him proud of me.
Love you Abah. <3

caught the movie silent hill with my cousins (kak noorma, kak nadia) and soon-to-be cousin-in-law (kak ida) yesterday night . three of us, my cousins and i, reached the movie theatre first. the movie already started when we got there. it was so freaking dark, and my eyes have not yet adjusted to the darkness. on top of that, the sound effect was a little scary, so we were pretty hesitant in the beginning. luckily our seat was the second last row, so it was not that hard to find it. as soon as we got adjusted to the darkness that is.

kak ida was held back at work, so she arrived later. not only was she late, she didn't have a ticket and her phone died on her. so guess how she entered when she didn't have the ticket? she came in with the apek! the usher i mean. heh.

kak ida - apek: "gua punya kawan ada dalam. handphone gua mati. pek, boleh pinjam handphone tak?"
the apek didnt have the a handphone of him though.
apek: " tak apa. gua bawak lu masok."
kak ida "macam mana? dalam situ banyak gelap?"
apek: "tidak apa. gua ada lampu suluh."

when she entered, we knew it was her, i mean like, who else could it be? so we were like, "kak ida, kak ida" but she couldnt hear us lah. the apek brought her right to the front looking for us. i mean like ALL the way to the front. the apek was like shining the torchlight right smack onto the people's faces. hahhahhaa. funny sey. luckily it was Lido 7, not Lido 1. if it was Lido 1, it would have been impossible for them to find us. =/

the movie was pretty unclear actually. probably because we missed the starting. =( right after the movie, kak nadia was like " ok, what the fuck?" haha! as soon as we got up from our seats, we were trying to make sense of the whole movie. probably discussing about it for over 15min.

even over our dinner at ramen ten, we were still discussing over it. just to clarify and make sure that all agreed that that was the movie's storyline and this or that is what actually happened.. making sure none of us intepretted the movie differently.

and kak ida treated us to all that. the movie, and the food. and the food was yummy yum yum. and the waiter was funny!
thanks for the treat. =D




so advice to those who want to watch silent hill, please make sure that you are not late for the movie. i mean it. seriously. =D

in a state of confusion.


maybe this is what i really want?
but you keep popping back in.
those who knows about that night, did you know that when i woke up this morning (which technically means yesterday morning. but that is not important. heh.), my face was actually glowing?!?!?! i mean lk seriously. mcm berseri-seri! hahahaha. i have not seen myself that way, for a long long time. i mean like A-G-E-S!
it only means one thing. that it's for the best.
but now, someone has a change of heart (not me by the way). hmmm. and i'm not so sure that i want the same thing i did yesterday.

note to self: think things through. make your decision once and for all, then stick with it.






everything and everyone around have been asking me to run the other way, but i keep walking right back in.
perhaps, it's time for a change.

sad songs, flashbacks, messages, comforting words, blanket, pillow, bolster, socks, tissue box, pictures,

could you accompany me through the night?

you know how i religiously watch oprah right? so on today's episode, there was something interesting brought up, and i'd love to share it with you guys. =D

first guest was an aneroxic woman who thinks her tummy is too big, even though she is only 85 pounds. she is so small that she has to shop in the children's department.

second guest was a beauty queen who became overweight because she over-eats. her third and current husband is her personal trainer, and he constantly calls her fat-ass. asshole! she uses food as a comfort. *isnt that ouh-so-familiar? heh.

third guest was a lady who was in the beginning not so well to do, poor if i could call it that, but then married a rich man, and yet feels worthless. this one, i dont quite get.

lesson i learnt:
a person who happens to be aneroxic, over-eating, overly angry, easily ticked off, loves to gossip, loves to critisize, is likely to be suffering from self-hatred. they need something else to make themselves feel whole and better.
this manifestation of self-hatred and self-destruction happens when 'you were told a lie, and you believed it.' - oprah winfrey.

so anyone reading this, and happens to fall under those mentioned above, its important that you realise you are worth it.
can't start anywhere?
start by, 'you're worth it because you were born into this world.' - oprah winfrey.
you wouldn't be here in this world if you were not worth it. alright?
got that dear readers?


now,excuse me while i drill that into my skull. thank you.

i miss my baby badly. =((((((((
wondering if he knows that.

in an ideal world,
we would be able to meet everyday.
we would be able to talk on the phone all the time.
we would never quarrel, especially about minute things, which are totally blown out of proportion most of the time.







where are we headed to? <3

i love the song unfaithful by rihanna.
it even made me cry.
the song was sent to me ages ago, but i only listened to it today. whoopsy.
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i dont know someone as well i wished i did. and my wish will come true, it will happen. sooner or later. =D
i just have to figure out how. =/ and i wont be shy to ask.

from today onwards, i bid my oldself goodbye.

i hereby declare that:
i am no longer lazy; physically and mentally.
-
i am no longer as ignorant as before.
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i am no longer doubtful of myself; when i know something, i will not pretend i dont know it.
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i will not be the one someone only likes, but am the one that someone likes and respects.
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i am no longer confused over the priorities in my life.
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i will manage all that is going on with me and around me.
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i will better myself in time management.
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i will treat him better, and gives him the attention that he deserves.
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i will not let one problem affect my other affairs; come on people, girls can multi-task.
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i am no longer going to let what other people think of me make me feel bad, but instead make me stronger to prove them wrong.
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i am no longer the girl that get bad grades.
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i will read the newspaper, and know what is going on in this world every single day.
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i am making time for my loved ones.
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i am no longer the girl that some people talk down to when they feel shitty about themselves.
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the word give up no longer exists in my dictionary.
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in everything that i do, i am giving it my best.
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i will stand for what i believe in, yet not be stubborn; giving in when it's appropriate.
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i will avoid making hasty decisions.
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i will better my people skills.
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i will continue on the journey of better-ing myself, and discovering who i am.
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I STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET AS NURUL HUDA M. and nothing else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
teehee.
thanks to all that wished me happy birthday today, and yesterday!
through sms, calls, face-to-face, online! =D
for the gifts. thank you.
there were some unexpected wishes. =D
there were also some expected wishes, but they never came. =/

im legally 18!
legal to buy cigarette.
legal to smoke.
legal to go clubbing.
legal for a lisence.
75% of which i think i will not be doing. =/ haha.

but there is one thing that i have a higher chance of doing,
legal for M18 movies!
yay! =D
freddy, rashidah and sai can wait long long nong nong ok? hehe.

these were somethings that i have always been reminded to do.

happy moments, praise Allah.
difficult moments, seek Allah.
quiet moments, worship Allah.
painful moments, trust Allah.
every moment, thank Allah.

and everytime, i wish i did them more than i have.
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just got back from nek mok's house and tok ayah's house. got nothing less than loads of fun. highlight of my trip; amar! ahhaha. he is so so so so cute ok?

i love my new skin so much, im finding excuses just to blog in it. hehe.
well, first thing first. i would just like to say once again..
I LOVE AISYAH! AAAAHHH! lol. i love the skins she made for me! haha.
i guess, i will rotate some of the skins? so you'll be seeing some of the skin again ok? =) WOOHOO!

*ehem. ok, that's over. so here's something else.

Wahhhahahaah!!There you go!Now I tag *jeng jeng jeng*
1. Nurul
2. Nana
3. Daphne
4. Sanah
5. K.Kisha

from sai. teehee.
Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog POST with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

1. i can crack my jaw, fingers, toes, neck, back. actually, almost all of my joints. and i mean really crack.
2. the nail on my midle finger, on my right hand, is crooked.
3. i like good boys, more than i do bad boys.
4. i have a conversation with myself at least 3 times a day. it's a routine i will not miss.
5. i was a premature baby.
6. i came close to seeing an old lady commiting suicide. she was on the highest floor in my block, at the lift landing. she was climbing the railing ald, her foot was over the railing. but guess she chickened out. it was really traumatizing. i had a difficult time getting over it - going into my mom's room [cos that is where i saw her attempting to jump down] and to look at the opening of the lift landing [fearing she would be there, slowly turning her head look right into my eyes and then smile a creepy smile at me]. *shivers.

and now,
hanim
aisyah
freddy
rozi
liyana
you've been tagged! hehe.
dont know if these people will do it or not. hope you guys will! =D

newskin. =)
all thanks to aisyah. the blogskin genius. =D

i hate gossips and rumours. easily said, it's 99.999999999% incorrect most of the time, if not all the time.
and this particular one, is definitely not right. absolutely inaccurate. 100%.
i know the truth, and that is definitely not the truth.
some nosy parker should just keep their noses out of other people's business, instead of circulating lies and continuing the deceptions.

i have no idea where you got your story, and how managed twist the truth; without even feeling guilty about it. makes you feel powerful? hah! puh-lease ok.

- i should have known better than to trust you -






*but thanks, really.

if anyone noticed, i got a new skin. wee. aisyah made it for me. heh. nice?
i think its gorgeous. hee. and she is making me another. so look out for that ok. =D

well, that aside, i feel that these few days, my patience is being tested constantly by some people around me. hmm. but it would usually last for a few minutes, then i would totally forget about it. most of the time.
poor memory? nah, i just choose to erase it from my memory box. i've got no space for minute things like these. though not all of them are as minute as i think it is.

of course its painful sometimes, and your self-esteem gets chipped little by little everytime, but you will have to find some way of pulling yourself up again. no use holding grudges. no use in dwelling in something like this, really. you'll just get yourself worked up.

worked up -> more angry -> more stress -> people run away from you -> all alone =(
and you can't leave alone man. as much of a loner as you may be, you will need someone. because, we are social beings. =D
so, let's put our anger aside, if not always at least once in awhile, and forgiving and forget. =) probably not as easy that huh? but we could always try, can't we?

im spleepy. but i refuse to fall asleep. and the thing is, i dont even know why.
maybe because i feel like saying something philosophical? haha. yeah right nuwul. ouh go on, roll your eyes if you wish to. heh.

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ok nvm. i will come back some other time. i'm too sleepy ald.
this post was totally unneseccary wasnt it? -_-

was reading jamsy's blog, and happen to read it. she makes it seem so fun, so i thought, why not? heh.

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name:nuwul
Current Location: at home. =)
Eye Color: dark brown. hee.
Hair Color: black
Righty or Lefty: righty.
Zodiac Sign: gemini; a complicated being.
Favourite music: anything that wont burst my ear drums please. apart from that, not cerewet.

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
What shoes did you wear today: my brown slippers. i wanna buy sandals! heh.
Your weakness: little people aka babies. and my loved ones.
Your fears: worms, flying insects, bumps and holes -> many of them, all congested at one place. yuck!
Your perfect pizza: different flavours on every slice. variety people, variety.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase: ouh, really arh?
Your thoughts first waking up: i have to wa.... zZzZz *thoughts not completed, because i tend to go back to sleep straight after my thoughts tend to form. lol.

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi.
McDonald or Burger King: bk. so jelak of macd.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: lipton tea taste nicer to me. so, i shall pick lipton tea.
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate, most definitely. it gives out happy hormones man! =D

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU
Smoke: nope, i dont.
Swear: yeah, i do. whoopsy.
Have a crush: of course. haha.
Think you've been in love: yes, more and more everyday.
Believe in yourself: sometimes. sadly, not often.
Think you're a health freak: guess so, especially after i watch mtv. lol. the video clip. damn those skinny bitches. makes me feel fat; really fat.
Get along with your parents: yes, most of the time. phewh.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST SIX MONTHS
Drank alcohol: never. haram!
Gone to the mall: i pass a mall every single day. so, i cant avoid that now can i?
Been on stage: if going up, walking across the stage, then get down, and head to 7-11, then yes. if perform, no. haha.
Eaten Sushi: yes actually. yummy yum yum. damn, im suddenly craving for one now.
Gone skating: never. =( gonna do it some day! it's a must. heh.

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Gotten beat up: hmm. by my baby cousin. sad right? i know.
Not remembered the night before: hmm. how am i suppose to remember if i have forgotten about the night before if i cannot remember anything about the night before? makes sense?

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: hmmm. 25 and up? when the time is right, everything will fall into place. dont have to think too much.
How many kids do you want: i think three. probably because i was born in a family of three.

LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY
Best eye color: so used to looking at dark eye colour. looking at light eye colour would be weird, really weird. heh. so im gonna say, hazel (like mama) and darker. =)
Best hair color: all natural. no golden monkey please. thank you. =D
Short or long hair: short! i hate guys with long hair. i mean i hate the long hair lah not the guy. ok nvm, whatever.

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people you trust: quite a number, but not many.
Number of CDs: not sure. i dont have time to count them. really.
Number of tattoos: zilch. haram!
Number of piercings: two. one on each ear lobe. =D

just got back home. met rashidah and him.
tired.
had great fun. whee!
thanks! *hugs. =)

whenever i feel sad, i remind myself that it is not forever. it takes courage to be happy as
sadness is easier because it is surrender. - kristen dunst, elizabeth town.
and besides, you are never really alone. remember that. especially you, nuwul.

for the record, i would just like to tell everyone that have ever done something nice to/for me, that i am very much grateful for the kind deeds that you have done for me. =) if you know me well enough, you'd know its unlike me to forget about other people's good deeds; especially when its done unto me. in fact, if you'd notice, i would talk very fondly and proudly about these people. =D
thank you.

and if ever i were to hurt anyone's feelings, from the bottom of my heart, i would really and honestly like to say that i'm sorry. what are we if not human? full of flaws and imperfections.

let's all do some reflection. i choose to reflect on myself, because that is the one thing that i can change. afterall, wisdom through reflection is the noblest, is it not?
- you cannot fight fire with fire. giving in is not a weakness. -


Allah have been testing me a lot these few weeks.
Masya'allah. =)





ouh, and hanim gave me an advance 'day present. so wangi! yum yum. and i wont be smelly until.. it runs out. heh. thank you sweetie! *hugs hanim tightly until she gasp for air. =D