I used to hide away
If we could light up every street with our cellular phones, then maybe we can save ourselves or maybe we won't. But it doesn't even matter if we got no plan, as long as you're holding on to somebody's hand.
Skin best viewed in mozilla firefox under a 1280px x 800px screen resolution.

And only try to save myself
i expect to pass through this world but once.
any good, therefore, that i can do
or any kindness i can show to any fellow creature,
let me do it now.
let me not defer or neglect it
for I shall not pass this way again.
-- stephen grellet
Title:
Date/Time: Wednesday, November 29, 2006 // 5:46 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

who is to blame when children dont have the desire to get involved anymore? becomes ignorant of the things that surrounds them. who?
i was in the library, still am actually, when i heard a conversation between a 6 year old and his mom. i was disturbed.

6 year old: ma, why do they put a blue line at the lift?
mom: *looks irritated.
6 year old: ma, but why, why.. *almost stammering.
mom: you ask questions you already know the answers to.
6 year old: ma, but why.
mom: you dont speak, when you have nothing to say.


clearly, that boy had something to say. hmm.
instead of being proud of that child, instead of feeding that child's inquisitive mind, she brushes him off.
who is to blame, if children becomes uninterested?
well, maybe im not being fair. maybe his mom's tired. maybe she has a lot of things on her mind.

if those incidences keeps occuring, i wont be suprised if that boy no longer questions anything.

but he's a child.
children always has the strength (if we could call it that) to pull themselves up again.
like when they are just learning and beginning to walk .
they try, they fall, they cry.
but, they pick themselves up again.
they try, they fall, they cry.
they pick themselves up again.
they try, they fall, they cry.
they pick themselves up again.
they try, they fall, they cry, and they finally walked.

we all had that when we were younger.
we were that child once before.
we were never born knowing how to walk.
it was not a success the first time round. but we tried, and tried again.
we learnt how to walk.

and now, we can even run.
i bet we've still got that little person, somewhere in us.
unleash that child in us.
that child who never gave up. =)


three posts in a day. im on a roll!

0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: 1:45 PM

▲ ▲ ▲


if anyone were to come to me and say sorry with those eyes, i will melt.
AAAH! look at that!
its soooooo cute. i cant stand it.
GGRRRRR.
0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: 1:20 PM

▲ ▲ ▲
Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

is that all it takes? a simple test to show us what we're made of?
makes me wonder who comes up with all these tests.
claiming what we, the test do-ers, are made of.
they havent met us, they havent seen us. and yet, they can tell us what we're made of.
and saddest part is, most of the time, we find pleasure in realising that whatever they put in there is true.
yes, im guilty of that too. heh.

what does it boil down to?
0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Tuesday, November 28, 2006 // 1:48 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

im so blessed to be surrounded by people humans that care about me.
thank you.
=)
0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Friday, November 24, 2006 // 10:30 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

A LETTER SHE WROTE TO HERSELF

making it a point to realise something about yourself, something that was hiding inside of you. trying to figure out, what was really going on.
you, you, you.
me, me, me.
i, i, i.

but at times, we know and we realise, others need it more than we do.
whatever it may be.
and that time, is now.

0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: 9:51 AM

▲ ▲ ▲

banu said, 'its your life. they are not going to run your life'.
i almost forgot that.
i feel rejuvenated. =)
0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Thursday, November 23, 2006 // 10:18 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

watching LORD OF THE RINGS TWO TOWERS with my brother, affein.
first time watching.
sad? i thought you would think that way.
as we speak, as i type, whatever (=P) Frodo is coaxing Smeagol.
poor Smeagol. =(

made him explain a lot of stuff.
asked him a lot of questions.
so much so he suddenly said, 'i suddenly feel like jiggling my fats.'
and so he did. i know there's no link.
that my friends, is where i get the urge of saying random things from.

i love affein! =D


0 comment(s)

Title: THAT GIRL WE THOUGHT WE KNEW.
Date/Time: 3:47 PM

▲ ▲ ▲
THAT GIRL WE THOUGHT WE KNEW.

for whatever reason, there was bitterness inside.
so bitter she could almost taste it.

what was it that was bothering her? why was it bothering her?
it seemed like that took top priority at that moment. but why?
isnt there other more worrying issues to think about?
shouldnt there be?

and she knew she wanted out.
out from the intensity of her own emotions.
feeling and thinking just wasnt enough.
she needed to put it down.
make it a realisation, a reality.
somehow, somewhere.
get it out of her system.
just let it out. all of it.
but to who? to what?
who was willing to listen to her cries?
the cries, if given a choice, she would not listen to.
because, they were not worth listening to.
at least she thought they werent. were they?

then, she reached that point again.
the point where she decided to push it all away.
pushed it all into a room.
a room back in her mind, in her head.
burying it deep down.
so deep that even when one day she decides to dig it up again, it may never be retrieved.

but she knew that was impossible. she's tried that many times.
'far too many' she said.
beside, there were other things that needed to be done.
more important things. things that concerned others' well-being.
so once again, she decided to put that on hold. like all her other affairs.
affairs concerning...
'but when will this ever stop?', she wondered, interrupting her own thoughts.

and deep down, she wished that someone could just snap her out of it. make her stop. stop. just stop.
she was waiting to break free.
she wanted to fly; fly up high with the birds.
she wanted to know what it meant to soar.

but for now,
what's left were questions unanswered.
and so, the cycle begins.
all over again.

...

today is yesterday's tomorrow.
yesterday is tomorrow's today.
err, i dont think that worked.
and tomorrow is today's yesterday.
neither does that.
whoops.

...

i just got news, my uncle's in the hospital.
hanim's dad is in the hospital.
let's all pray for them.
in fact, let's pray for everyone.
for those who are troubled.
for those who are in difficulties.
for our loved ones.
for everyone.
because we know, doa jamaa' lebih mudah diperkenankan Allah. =)

sesungguhnya mengenangkan MU, beringat-ingat tentang MU, diriku menjadi tenang.


0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Wednesday, November 22, 2006 // 6:34 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

the movie HEART made me cry my eyeballs out. =(
someone get me a new pair please.
preferrably hazel or blue.
thanks.

0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 // 7:42 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

WOOHOO!
im blogging from bishan library!
with fiqah by my side.
YAY-ness!
=D
rj's done.
go home, and rest. or finish watching HEART. wheee.

batt's running low. take care peeps. =)

im feeling good. =D
0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Monday, November 20, 2006 // 10:18 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

something's not right.
hmm.
woman's intuition? must be.

it's that time of the year.

...

weeks back, my personal message on msn was;
let's all be fishes. =)

a couple of people asked why.
it was my dad's advice. =)
fishes live in salty waters. even then, when we cook them, salt still needs to be added.
no matter how many years they were in that salty water, they never changed. they never swayed. they were slimy, they were scaly, but never salty.

the moral?
in whatever situation we are put in, stand by our principles. dont get influenced or sway by any external factors that may cause us to go against something we believe in, something good, our faith, our principles.

sometimes, it may not be as easy. like the malay saying goes,
'masuk pasar, tetap bau ikan.'

*whats up with me and ikan-s in this post? hmmm.

but then again, its not impossible. insya Allah.
anjing menyalak bukit, bukit takkan runtuh.
see how amazingly wonderful how we can learn something from almost anything?

and at times, all we need are reminders from the closest people around us. =)

...

mama just brought in orange juice for me. i love her. =D
0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Sunday, November 19, 2006 // 10:34 PM

▲ ▲ ▲


last wednesday, went to seri's house for open house. teehee.
only a few of us could make it. for valid reasons and matters (haha), the others could not make. so tinggal kiter kiter ni. heh.
ate, watched HEART. couldnt finish the movie though. but for that little that we were able to watch, we became critics.
there was one part, his best wanted to run over him with her jeep, cos he said he was willing to die if the girl he was woo-ing didnt reciprocate his love. that girl did reject him. he was ruunnnnnnnnnnniiiingggggggg away.
then rafiqah said, 'forestgump'. HAHAHAHAHAHA. one word, but so so funny. heh.



...

i was simply bowled over by the clouds. they looked extra pretty on that day din tunang-ed. =)




pretty tiring, pretty hectic. =) im happy for them. semoga kekal dan berpanjangan. insya Allah penuh dengan keberkahan. =)



mothers of all ferrero roche, and the rest of tiny weeny ferrero roche. =D



...

today's been GREAT!
i should get published in guiness world record book. haha.
saw quite a number of people i knew.

went out with rashidah, wanted to find a prom dress. but before that, went to hang ten's warehouse sale. at hougang, and today was the last day. so i couldnt help but get meself something. yay-ness.
went to that minimart we used to always go when amkss was still in buangkok green.
flashbacks. the aunty at the counter was still the same. =)

quote from rashidah:
'there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.'
=D

headed to hougang point. so long since ive been there, and so decided to go there to reminisce about our sec one days. =))
but as soon as we got off the bus, i saw someone i recognised!
khairunnisa. heh.
she was going to meet juwai, to visit firdaus who's in the hospital.
saiful, ruqayah and i went to the hospital on friday. didnt get to see him though. was in the operating room.
let's pray for his recovery. =)

walked here and walked there.
made our way to paya lebar. bus 43.
was so excited,


but became a little bit worried when i was super ulu punggol bus interchange.
rashidah was scared i would find out that she did that on purpose. just so she could spend time with her friend. then i got angry, and she got scared.



so we had to take the bus back the other way again. -__- heh.
in the bus, i was feeling a little high. we were laughing machines. laughed, laughed, laughed. i was looney, really really looney. SUPER LOONEY. CRAZY LOONEY!
but looney's good. no, looney's great. i love looney-ing. =D
but a little too looney?
heh. rashidah even make a note for herself. =D


in case you cant see clearly, it says.

Note to self
1) Try harder.
2) Don't go out with nuwul when she's on drugs (esp. viagra).


it does look like viagra. really.


SEE! told you so. heh.

headed to tanjong katong, find prom dress? HAHAHA. right.
so, in the end we went to this fashion. prom dress for shidah, checked. shirt for nuwul, checked. but hey, there wasnt a list in the first place? hmmm.

at the toilet. come on and tell me im a genius. =/



didnt know where else to go, so decided to go pay freddy a visit at national library. hee. one tight and very long hug please. =D
as i was walking in, saw these two girls, they looked so so familiar. but where have i seen them. hmmm. closer look, arafah and rai. so suprised, heh. working there at the library. so fuunnnn. =D

in there, there was freddy and some of her friends. and someone was there. and another someone didnt like that, cos it didnt work out? ehem ehem. you know, i know ok. =P
freddy couldnt join us cos she still had to finish her feature by tonight, 10pm. hope you're done with it sweets. =)
wanna go breakfast too! grrr.



going down the 11th storey? greatness. =) made my tummy flutter. i like it. whee. rashidah almost hyper-vantilated, fainted. acrophobia sucks. =/

to the first floor we went.
when i looked outside, it was already pretty dark then. looked outside and again, there was someone that looked familiar. couldnt make out who it was, from the shadows and reflections. third look, skali its mr saiful with his friend. must have been the kopiah that caught my eye. haha. sungguh unexpected. =)

rashidah suddenly in total random-ness with her serious facial expression said,
'we are not on the left. neither are we on the right. we are on the middle.'
i was like, 'what in the world are you talking about?'
she, 'we're on middle rd'.


rrrriiiiggggghhhhhtttttt. -__-
ahah. i love her! =D

someone was hungry.
'an hungry man, is an angry man.'
she was hungry, yes. she was angry / grumpy (HAHA), yes.
but she's not a man.
something's not right here. hmmm.

so headed to food court at marina square.
at the traffic light, rashidah suddenly said 'HEY!' to someone.
i thought, ape lagi pulak budak ni?
i turned and i saw RACHEAL!!!!@!@!# AAAAAHHHHH!
that girl! so long never see her! was so happy. hehe. =D
and amazingly, after bumping into mr saiful, i told rashidah, gotta keep this momentum gg. im gonna love this day even more, if i meet more people i know. haha. Allah heard me.
it didnt stop there! saw scott at city hall mrt station. =)
ALLAH MAHA MENDENGAR. YAY! =D


i love these girls. we can laugh over anything. sometimes, even nothing.
thank you for the great day i had.
thank you for simply being you. =)

0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Friday, November 17, 2006 // 1:15 AM

▲ ▲ ▲

going crazy with the people in class, i like. =)
yay to glove drawing. =)



seetea's multishots functions rocks! YAY! =D




0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Thursday, November 16, 2006 // 9:53 PM

▲ ▲ ▲

MANY PICTURES COMING UP. =)


CLEAN and GREEN WEEK
clean and green week, patah tulang, patah pinggang. haha.
pumping balloons (its not an easy job people!), giving postcards and brochures. everything else, but the booth. haha.
even so, it was great. =)
we were goofing around most of the time. going to different booths, getting ourselves free gifts. got free payung, which i left at my aunt's. tsk tsk. heh.

went to eco city display. =D
so cute and nice!
there were miniature carparks. being godzillas are fun.
cant believe hanim didnt know what she was doing, just follow. errr.



then there were balls going around the whole city. in the future, the MRT's are going to be generated by pressure. sungguh cool.

the shower looked like a microphone. i couldnt resist.



there was some weird looking toilet bowl. someone wanted to sit on it, but thought it was too... disturbing. -___- haha.

me, hanim, ruzi.


i love nature.
how i wish i was in that poster. =)


we were looking at the cheerleaders performing. and azzah wanted to show of her muscles. haha. so strong, 'like badang' said hanim. =P



there were some photos hanim didnt send me. =/ if you wanna see it, visit hanim's blog ok. =)

got some stuff with mr B. heh.
went to aunts' place, and got meself a dose of MANJA! YAY! i love that cat. whee. =)

mommy, can i get me a kitten?

...

HARI RAYA with the girls
was done after school. 2 consecutive days. had to, no choice. no other free weekends. =)
so we were in our baju raya on 6th and 7th. except for yani. she had to head back home cos of some reasons reasons. and also to take her sis. which means, that she dont have a heavy bag, or lappy to carry.
lenggang kangkong kakak kiter.

seetea couldnt make it since she had something on. heh.
it seriously pays to be living nearby.

on the 6TH
went to azzah's place first.
at azzah's place, we were cekik-ing on the food. sedap nyerrr. lagi lagi we were hungry. heh.





her house was so pretty. =)
next headed to liyana's place. only a few stops away.
ate her kuihs! macaroon. however you spell that. haha.
yummylicious! =D
and then, i realised we didnt take much photos there.
we were discussing more on the person that was dancing on tv.

headed to hanim's home. =) liyana could make it to hanim's place. =(
but it's ok, she joined us the next day! =)
well, it's not exactly her home actually. her parents were at her sister's place, so we went there instead. too bad she didnt cook maggi goreng.
how i wish you cooked maggi goreng, kakak maggi goreng.
hehe. =P

just so you know, my cam-y was FIILLLLLLEEED with these 3 girls photos. haha. camwhores. =P


i love the faces we make! haha. =) hanim was suffocating from the greatness syawal was exuding on her. i just couldnt get enough of the wonderful smell syawal emits. *sniff sniff.


tompang glamour. teehee.



after leaving hanim's house, everyone was already dead beat. =)



and im glad i had company home, till my doorstep. =) thank you.

.
.
.

on the 7TH
another day in baju raya.
this time, only 2 house to cover. YAY.
and mine was the last. phewh. =)

and on that day, we were ready, but someone was not. she was still fiddling with her lappy, quietly. sneakily even. =P


made me wonder what she was doing.


a huh, i was right. she was playing the bug thingy thingy game. look at that, looking all innocent.

finally, we were able to pry her away from that game, and finally make our way to yani's place.
again, yani had almost nothing to hold. and she wasnt in baju raya. i should shift house everytime i move to a new school. heh. senang hidup. =P


after eating the rendang, ketupat, sambal goreng and all the mengenyangkan makanans, we headed to my place. YAYNESS!

group photo please. =)


...

one week, and one day ago. =)
beautiful isnt it, that tree?



i didnt take that picture though. heh.

...


KGC RAYA-ing - 11TH
me and lin were early.
sai brought her cute little brother imran. =D he is a smart 8 year old i tell you, very cute and very witty.
haha.
k, so he calls his dad pops.
LIN: ouh you arh, like mat salleh.
IMRAN: yar, thats why my grandfather is salleh.
HAHAHHAHAHA. so cute kan?! =D


okok, start from the beginning. first, meet at chua chu kang and headed to kak long's place.
i shall repeat, me and lin were early. heh.


then came the star karats, as mentioned by lin.
dyl looked feminine, was in baju kurung! teehee. she was wearing earing! she was wearing necklace!


in the LRT, managed to capture a picture. looked like i went outside and snapped the photo. look at the clouds. masya Allah. =)




then went to lin's house. me and imran were watching animal planet. kak long became restless. haha. wwhhhhyyyy? animal planet oozes awesome-ness.
hogging the tv eh?

kak long and imran were running around the house for the remote control. kwang kwang kwang.

a serial peek-a-boo-er. heh.



after lin's, went to mine. =)


on that day, lin, dyl and sai loved chairs more than they usually do. heh.



after my house, we headed to dyl's.
dont have a group photo when we were at dyl's house. cam-y decided to die on me. dyl's dad sent us to sai's place. it was pretty close to each other. =)
the sup tulang dyl's mom cooked was belly nice!

and the last place, sai's. =)
such a cosy house. made me wanna camp there. haha. =)
the me siam was yummmyyyy.
my tummy would have burst if i listened to my taste buds, instead of my head. heh. =)

no pictures, for the last two houses. =/
wanna see some of them?
go to lin's blog. =)





k, i took very long to do this post.
0 comment(s)

Title:
Date/Time: Monday, November 13, 2006 // 12:12 PM

▲ ▲ ▲



BREATHE (2 AM)

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

learning something from someone, everyone. =)

0 comment(s)