SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA.

a long holiday for everyone. =D yayness.
celebrated this year's hari raya differently.
without my abah, not hearing him do the takbir.
two years ago, both my mama and abah wasnt present. tsk tsk.
Alhamdulillah though, he is safe. mama received a call from him when my brother and i were at the mosque. =)

speaking of the mosque. today, i was a guide for a group of cute aunties, ah sohs, lau kongs and some grandchildren who were interested to learn more about islam. language barrier on my side, since i dont know how to speak mandarin as well as fathiah. huahuahua.
the simplest i know are 'hao', 'keyi mah?', 'pukeyi' etc. i know spelling beteraboh, but you get my drift. =P
learning mandarin in kindergarten didnt help much. haha.

but! i learnt a new chinese word today; 'yang' - after successfully exciting them by saying something like 'ok, now lets all go see emmbeeeeek'.

grateful for the turn of events.

***

the evening: hassani family minus one dad.

just got back from visit at my grandparents' place. splendid. =) hassani's my granddad's name by the way. heh.
nuwul loves family gathering. the laughs. much love. hee.
small cousins; reminding the adults in their life about being a bit more carefree, or even responsible.

not-too-small-not-too-big cousins aka around-the-same-age; meaningful, beneficial conversations. kak noorma and i was sharing how saddam's execution on hari raya haji. what were they trying to show? wasnt it disrespectful to islam? is mocking too strong a word?
its only the beginning.
but i shall say no more, in case i get fined or whatever by whoever that reads blogs to make sure that there wont be any kind of postings that could catalyse a riot, breed protesters or what nots.

a sentence like the previous would have gotten myself a bad grade in secondary school. too long a sentence. the longer the sentence, the more mistakes made. like, the more you talk, the more sins you may commit. that is why, it is always good to keep quiet when you have nothing beneficial or useful to say.

randomness?

the-older-generations; always giving hidden advices in the jokes that they crack. my aunties, uncles, mom, dad, grandparents, should start a movie or something. if you ever get an opportunity to spend a day with the whole clan, you will experience nothing less than pleasure. insya Allah. =)

***

the clock continues to tick. 1:05AM.
im awake. tired, yes. headache even. but, my eyes refuses to shut.

and because of that, i shall just continue blogging. hee. =)
now, its already 2007.
wow. time flies. ok, maybe time vroooooms past me.
mana perginya keberkahan?

2006,
im grateful for all that has happened.
the good, for it made me realise that i am blessed. Alhamdulillah, praises be to the Almighty.
the bad, for it has taught me many valuable lessons. learning through experience is the bitterest. but most of the time, it is the most meaningful.

to the people that has entered my life, and have made a difference, may Allah bless you, and continue to do so in the years to come. for the things that you have done, or even the things that you havent. heh.
my prayers will always be with you. =)

i wont bother with a new years resolution. i never seem to complete them. heh. sooooo...
with that,
HAPPY NEW YEAR. 2007, THE CONTINUATION.

my dad left for haj on the 24th.
been quite awhile since then.
i dont hear someone knocking on the door at 630 saying,
'ASSALAMUALAIKUM. WAALAIKUMSALAM.'
i miss my dad. but im glad he is safe.
no fatality in the fire at Dar Al-Gaza apartments. no singaporeans involved. Alhamdulillah.
may those injured be well and safe. may all have a safe return.

im also glad that he is lucky enough to be doing ukuf at arafah on a friday. =)
masya Allah. that doesnt happen often. i heard it only happens every 10 years. hmmm.

just have a little faith.
im grateful for the darkness, for it made me appreciate the light.

***

prison break season one in two days. WHOOT! =D
i felt super-dee-dooper-ly wonderful then.
but not so much now.

it was like as if im on drugs. not that i have ever been on drugs or anything like that. haha.
druggies experience euphoria when they're on it. but the total opposite after that. they know what they are doing is wrong, they do it anyways.
but they still come back for more.

disc after disc after disc. just couldnt stop.
if i had that dvd from my uncle for prison break two, i dont think i would be on blogger right now. grrrrrrrrrr.

im not saying what i did was wrong. should i though? since it doesnt make it right either.

the grey area

moderation in everything.
moderation -> food. eat when im hungry, stop before im full. just to name one.
watching prison break back to back, till morning, is not moderation.
but its SO darn good.

trying to fill whats empty. this time, the rain's not working.

DOA PENENANG MINDA DAN HATI, KETENTERAMAN JIWA.

mama got back from iqra' class. she brought along the tastiest kuihs i have tasted for a very long long time. =D
one of the makciks, her classmates, is going to haj. so she gave kuihs to her classmates.

putri salad, kuih bakar, some-circular-looking-kuih-that-you-have-to-add-kelapa-to, and vitasoy drink. =) but none of that can beat talam berlauk! yummylicious! =D
i could eat that for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, supper. in fact, i'd be happy if i got that for my birthday. no need to get me cakes, just talam berlauk. ok, no! what i really meant was, it would be nice to have both talam belauk and cake. XD

***

everyone has their secrets.
i've got secrets.
you've got secrets.
the aunty next door has secrets.
the uncle selling ice cream has secrets.

we keep secrets from people. sometimes from mom, sometimes from dad, and even from best friends.

but there is one being i know that i we will never be able to keep secrets from.

the Almighty.
Al Khabiir; Maha Mengetahui Rahsia; The All Aware.
He knows what we do when we are alone.
He knows if we cut class in last week of school.
He knows what we think of our neighbour.
our deepest thoughts, He knows.
our deepest feelings, He knows.
our deepest secrets, He knows.
He knows what we've been up to, and He knows what we've got up our sleeves, and in our pockets (haha. -__-).
He knows.

and looking at the secrets i keep, i cant help but wonder about the secrets you, you and you keep. im not kaypoh, im just curious. hehe.

some things are best left unsaid. truth will find its way, and it will prevail.

its been raining endlessly for the past few days. but for the few hours it wasnt raining today, the sun seemed to shine extra bright. almost blinding my sight.
see how amazingly fantabulous how everything seems so much better when it returns after being gone for awhile?

december rain. =) i like december rain. no wait, i like rain. no matter if its december, november or october. i just like rain.
in fact, i like a lot of things.
i like rain, i like sun, i like sand, i like beaches, i like mountains, i like clouds, i like dew, i like honeydew, i like trees, i like babies, i like fluffy towels, i like chickens, i like dogs, i like chinchilas (if that's how its spelt), i like hamsters, i like love jimmy neutron, i like chocolates, i like candy canes, i like candy floss, i like spongebob, i like patrick, i like love islam, i like love being a muslim, i like diversity, i like learning, i like solitude, i like company, i like stationeries, i like birds chirping, i like cows moo-ing, i like owls hooting, i like making weird sounds, i like saying random things, i like seeing others smile, i like things that are humungo-giganto, i like things that are tiny weeny and i like listing the things i like. =P

im just blabbering, and i can go on forever listing the things i like.

so what are the things i dont like?
there is one thing i know for sure i dont like. i dont like dusts. dusts make me sneeze like crazy. i dont know how crazy sneeze is, but yes, dust makes me sneeze like crazy. and i mean C-R-A-Z-Y.

now, excuse me while i continue doing whatever things i do with my mismatched socks and oversized jacket. toodles everyone. =)

if the rain gets any worse, i'll make him:



my idol, and follow in his footsteps. is that correct english? hmmm. someone, correct me pleaaaase.

was at ammar's birthday party. my cute baby cousin, in stripes.
party hats, 'I WANT ONE!'
everyone wore party hats. my mom, my uncles, my aunties, my cousins, big and small. everyone. i liked that, a lot. was the last few survivors in hat wearing. heh.

gathering made into insane i-can-laugh-till-i-cry moments by the jokes and kecoh-ness of the makciks and the pakciks.

went looking at wedding photo albums of tanter and uncle. what they were wearing was fashion?? *faints melodramatically.

there was a picture of me and them, when i was say... err, 4? and tanter said, 'this is my first child.' =)
they took me out a lot when i was younger, i was their first child. and im their daughter till this very day. =)
and their son? my brother. and i love him.
confused? its ok.

mama used to take care of him, from birth till he was in primary two. they moved to woodlands and he started going school there.
he told me 'i miss quarelling with you.' haha. how cute is that?
most of the time, we only realise something when it's no longer there.
and i can proudly say, that we still have the bond we had 7 years ago.

ouh, and to the fire fighter i love most, happy birthday. =)
affein during his ers days.


you made me smile silly.

***

chiron camp was nice. job well done to the team.
especially yani, the oic. chey chey chey. =D

sooooo many water games.
made new friendships, strengthened older ones.
i want pictures during the camp. hehe. i know siti has them.
yani, help me hunt her down. kwang kwang kwang. =P

E.E. anyone?

***

sometimes, i feel like isolating myself from everyone.
to sit back, and just watch everything unfold before my eyes.
as though i was not part of any of it.
just watch, like its a play.
because, at the end of a play, everything is always resolved.

exactly one year ago, on this very day, i started blogging.
=)
my blog is one year old.
when i first did it, it was just experimenting.
but now, i realise that it is an outlet. outlet for my emotions, for my thoughts, for expression.

'writing was the first key to the door behind which it was all locked' - donna williams

in celebration of this day, in celebration of this blog, the blog that kept me sane most of the days, let's listen to a young man recite Al-Quran, surah YAASIN.
masya Allah.
listening to him once have never been possible for me.



come on and spread the love. =)

so everyone knows im a little challenged with my hearing.
that doesnt mean that when you are sick and tired of talking to me, of repeating when i say, 'sorry, what did you say?' or 'come again?' you can hang up on me.
what happened to manners?
there i was, trying the best i could, straining to listen, with all the noise in the background.
and when i finally went, 'OUH! BEADS!'
really happy and glad that i finally got to hear what you wanted to say you decided to hang up on me?
yar, nice going.

in fact, its a stoopid thing to be arguing about in the first place. its not like i can help that i really do have trouble hearing sometimes.
and dont go telling me that it could be the layers i may have on my head. because, at this moment, that is not even funny. its poking fun. and i dont see me smiling.

but, whatever you know?
i had a great tuesday, and i will not let something like this spoil my mood.
besides, i saw yani. who wouldnt be happy if they see yani? haha.

so, excuse me while i think happy thoughts.
aaaah, i know. i'll start with the conversations i had with mama, and end it with today's meet up. =)

pardon me, will you?

i learnt something new today.
when you tell a knock knock joke to your parents, make sure you have somewhere soft so you can roll around and laugh comfortably.

asked mama if she knew how knock knock jokes went. she was willing to give it a try.
suweeeet.
so i started telling her the knock knock joke hanim told me. the 'normally' one hanim. haha.

me: knock knock.
mama: knock knock aper?
me: no no. when i go knock knock, you're suppose to go who's there? then i will say, 'boo hoo' for example.
mama: ok.
me: knock knock.
mama: who's there?
me: normally.
mama: normally? aper yang normally?
me: no, cakap normally who. ok takpe. balik balik. again again.

me: knock knock.
mama: normally.
me: normally who.
mama: knock knock. who's there. normally. normally whoo?
me: HAHAHA. kiter mesti say turn by turn.

me: knock knock.
mama: whos there?
me: normally.
mama: normally who?
me: normally i dont knock, i just ring the doorbell.
mama: why must you knock if usually ring the doorbell?
me: entah. agaknyer th doorbell rosak agaknyer. (dont know. maybe the doorbell spoil.)
mama: ouh iyer lah. macam bik ani punyer doorbell. rosak. (ouh, yar lah. like aunty's doorbell. spoil.)

HAHAHAHA. i was on the kitchen floor by this time.
mama insisted i tell abah.
this one, even better. lagi power.

me: abah. you know macam maner knock knock joke?
abah: mmm. (that is him saying yes.)
me: ok. nuwul start. knock knock.
abah: *very slumber-ly who are you?
HAHAHAHA.

mama: who are you? so are me arh.
HAHA. family inside joke.

....

me: mama, ader semut ni. dier tengah duduk. lamer jugak arh dier duduk. abeh biler dier bangon, dier jalan tempang. kenaper?
mama: pasal kaki dier sakit. ouh ouh! pasal dier makan gula banyak sangat. kene kencing manis. kene potong kaki macam pak itam.
me: ahah. tak. bukan reason dier.
me: pasal, kaki dier. SEMUT SEMUT.
mama: mama punyer pon boleh jugak aper. kan make sense. mari, kiter tanyer abah.
me: ok, jom tanyer abah.

went to my room, where my dad was.

me: abah, ader semut ni. dier tengah duduk. abeh biler dier bangon dari duduk, dier jalan tempang. kenape?
mama: orang semue boleh give different reason for this. dier punyer reason aper?
abah: pasal dier terpijak taik.
mama: aper pulak terpijak taik. semut maner suker dengan taik. tak dekat dekat pon dengan taik. kalau lalat iyer.
abah: itu pasal ler. lalat dah season kaki kene taik. dier hurray hurray. klau semut, alamak, kaki kene taik.
mama: tak, pasal....

then she went telling my reason and her reason.
with her thunderous voice, acting skills and everything.
my parents are so cute. hehe.

that my fellow readers, is one of the many highlights of the day spent with my parents. =D

semoga menjadi anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah. insya Allah.

it helps to have cynical pals.
it helps to find solitude.
it helps to have conscience. though at times it can be quite irritating. especially when you were really hoping it would go on a holiday or something.

and it helps to have the rain come pouring down when you're feeling bitter, empty.
its like the rain just washed away the bitterness, filled the emptiness.
=)
it just.. helps.

though it doesnt help to know that someone you care about needs more than you can give.

what have you done today that you can be proud of?

in every of our prayers, lets include more than just our family members.
in fact, include everyone. especially those in need, troubled, whom we know needs them.
can you imagine the phenomenon we can create if every single one of us do that?
we'll be praying for each other.
how cool is that?
=D
very cool.

no one hear you better than HE.

i woke up this morning shouting good morning to everyone.
GOOD MORNING MA!
GOOD MORNING ABAH!
GOOD MORNING ABANG!
mama asked, 'asal happy nyer hari ni?'
i had no idea. i just felt good.

did some brother-sisterly bonding just now. movie marathon.
happy feet, final destination 2 and half of day after tomorrow.
that was great. =D

but now, im feeling horrible.
it takes real effort to be happy.
REAL effort. real, conscious effort.

as i reflect on today, i realised i didnt do anything that was useful.
no wonder i feel so horrible.
i didnt read a book.
i didnt do something extra that would make me feel good.
i didnt learn anything new.
i didnt have a proper convesation with mama and abah.
i didnt talk about something that really mattered.

i did what i needed to do.
but thats about it.

i was at home, slacking.
SLACKING.
a big fat BOO.

ouh, and it doesnt help im feeling nauseous.
i know it could be worse, but i miss complaining.

short-lived.

i wonder.
what is it that prevents me, you, us, from doing the things we are suppose to.
supposedly.
from doing the right things.
from doing the things that should be done.
from doing what's entrusted unto us.
from doing our duty.
what prevents us fom doing all that?

and most of the time, we know we are capable of carrying them out. then why dont we?
is it ego?
'im too good for this, i shouldnt be doing this.'?
im really not sure.
different reasons, for the same action; of not doing.


Nabi Muhammad SAW telah bersabda, ciri-ciri orang munafik ada tiga.
1. apabila berkata-kata, ia berdusta.
2. apabila berjanji, tidak ditepati.
3. apabila diberi amanah (kepercayaan), ia mengkhianati.

in english,

Prophet Muhammad PBUH said, a hypocrite has three characteristics.
1. when conversing, he lies.
2. when making promises, he breaks them.
3. when entrusted with a responsibility, he doesnt fulfill them.

have we fallen into this group? once? twice? thrice? or time and time again?
then, who will we trust?
would you trust someone who constantly lie?
would you trust someone who breaks promises?
would you trust someone who dont carry out his responsibilities?
answered?

then ask,
would you trust yourself?


semoga Allah SWT sentiasa melindungi kita dari sifat-sifat munafik dan kejahatan orang-orang munafik.
may Allah SWT always protect us from being a hypocrite, and from hyprocrites.

ya Allah, please forgive me. ya Allah, please protect me.

taking things for granted.
have you taken anything for granted lately?
have i?

the highly anticipated school holiday is here!
LET'S PARTY!



going escape theme park tomorrow. =)
im happy.
but i'll be happier if the people around me, the people i care for, are happy. =)



wounds we've sustained, ... will eventually heal and become scars.
the human body's healing process, ... the scar tissue is much stronger than regular skin. i believe the same is true of the human spirit.
- please stop laughing at me, jodee blanco.

i love family weddings. =D
i lurrrrrvvveeeee.
was a little emotional.
growing up with these people, seeing each other grow.
and when they are big enough, they'll start their own family.
*sigh.

was telling my brother.
'i dont want to grow old. i want to stay like this. i dont want you to leave this house, and live somewhere else. i dont want affein to leave this house, and live somewhere else. we wont be living in the same house.' i said pouting, almost sulking. heh.

then abang said with a smile, 'kiter will live in the same syurga. isnt that what we're all after?'

that made me smile. =)

SATURDAY, 2ND DECEMBER.

bride's ceremony was at serangoon CC. very nice. very kayu-ish. i like. =)
when the kompang was being talu-ed at the carpark, i got teary eyed. everyone's growing up. he's no longer a son. he's a husband now. a son and husband. =)
wow. everyone's growing up so fast. =)
pejam celik pejam celik, abang's and affein's turn pulak. haha. =P





SUNDAY, 3RD DECEMBER.

ceremony at bishan. it's our side.









yeah it's undeniable that they make a cute couple and everything. but come'on, who can deny these little people are cuter? haha.



they had a guestbook for.. well, the guests. that was really cool. =D
i shall have that when i get married. HAHA.

'its a new beginning. semoga diberkati dan dirahmati Allah. may you be blessed with a happy marriage. ouh, and many many zuriateseses.
- im rooting for that. =D




MONDAY, 4th DECEMBER.

gave school a miss on monday. was too tired to go to school after the family function. then, i decided to meet two of my favouritestest girls in the whole universe. =D quite last minute actually.

i greeted them with an 'AAAAAAH!' and they, 'AAAAAAHHHH!' haha.




i thought it would be cool if bracelets had a fork attached to them. at least, when we're hungry and dont wish to dirty our hands, it'll come in handy.
rashidah thought it would be romantic to have two forks attached to bracelets for couples.
we're full of nonesense, and we know it.

and freddy finally got her present. haha. waaaaaaayyyy belated. =P


freddy had to leave cos she had some projects to do.
i like how this picture turned out. =) i think my photography skills may have just improved.



...

a very belated birthdays too these people. =D

hanim.
the one that can make me smile from the way she reacts. =)



jamsy.
the one that has something to say to everything. heh.



and not forgetting rashidah. =D
the sweetheart.


the things i do for friendship. how can she not love me? tsk tsk.

...

from farzanah's blog, sai's sister.
a lesson bout faith i hv learnt is that u give it to the people you love but the people who really deserves it r e ones who come thru even if you don't love them enough.'




im blessed. i really am. =)
Alhamdulillah.

i want to be at the nikah place at tampines bedok!
GRRRR.

im stuck in school.
it's going to rain.
UT later.
sleepy and groggy.
its beginning to hurt again.
maybe i was too happy, too early.

but i know what i can look forward to. seeing my favourite 3 little peopleseses. =)






i couldnt decide on which photo to put.
yes, im greedy. get over it.