ive got wise friends; e.g. boon ee. =)

when just doing our job, no passion.

first of all
1. look UP
at God for renewal of strength, to revive the passion from within
also, to remind myself tt im here to do God's work.

2. look OUT
gota venture outta yfc, tt is to reach out and contact new ppl.. i mean tt's wat im here for, in e 1st place rite??
come on man, give me some street E to do.. ahhhaha
seek opportunities and doors waiting to be opened.

3. look BESIDE
to ppl close to me, for support and encouragement.. =D

4.look INSIDE
to check myself consciously, my objectives and purposes. and to build myself from the inside, so tt i can effectively reach out to ppl.

***

finally got a song to my bloggy. weehoo.
liyana, tripod loves you more than me. =/
so decided that geocities is my ally now. =)
thanks for the step by step help. budak takde keje, baik hati, ni lah dier. sanggup tolong print screen lagi.

buat baik berpada-pada, buat jahat jangan sekali

are you too nice?
- the tyra show.


see you at the stadium people. =)

for some reason, yani's motto in life is:
when life gets tough, strangle nuwul. =/



i couldnt tell.

SMS WITH THE BEST FRIEND.

RASHIDAH: ok, i definitely cant make it within the 15minutes.. -_-"
NUWUL: haha. at least ive got einstein to accompany me. =D
RASHIDAH: who's einstein?
NUWUL: errm, you know. the man with electrified hair. e = mc^2. the great scientist.
RASHIDAH: yes, i know.. but seriously, how is he accompanying you?
NUWUL: whispers: i see dead people. =P
RASHIDAH: whispers: you've lost it girlfriend. =D

when she reached, and found out how he was accompanying me (book: the new quotable einstein), she rolled her eyes. -_-

met up with the best friends. we went crazy over.. u_______r.

btw, einstein was born 109 years before me. darn old can? O_o

***

finally met with KGC(!) + kak long + aisyah. woohoo. so long since ive seen those bacins. heh. laughed and joked like there was no tomorrow. pecah perot. phewh. heh.
lets meet up again for some serious lunching. hee.

it chased the monday alter blues away. haha.
thank you busy bumble bee. something as simple as that is enough to make me smile. =)

we've got lots of catching up to do my friends. =)

im really not sure why im suddenly feeling this way.
i think its got to do with the fact that someone i care about is not feeling too good.
but who? is it you? aye?

you know how spiderman has got his spidey senses tingling?
i think ive got my nuwuley senses tingling right now.
talk about super powers huh? =P

and if it does happen to be you (yes you, reading this post, you), remember you were the commando sperm soldier that managed to get to the egg first. youre the SOLE survivor, against all other thousands and thousands of private sperm soldiers. unless you're a twin, then that's a totally different story. WOOHOO to you! so, celebrate life. not just any life, your life. you deserve it. =)

and if right now, you happen to be feeling down and happen to stumble upon this, hope reading something as hilarious as that (the sperm story; its funny to me at least) made you smile. =)
sperm story credited to adam khoo. one of the best motivators ever.

smile, smile and continue to smile.

in times of need, only a few people will be there for you.
there are those who instinctively know that for whatever reason, you are at your lowest.
then there are those who needs a little hinting.
then there are those who needs a lot of hinting. -__- even then, sometimes it just doesnt work.

either way, you cannot take it for granted that people will be there for you when you are at your lowest. that they will just know. if you are in need, express it.
say it, i need help. i need words of encouragement, words of advice. say it.
in fact, they may know, something's just not right, but dont ask. fearing that if they did, it would just agitate the you, me, us.
even so, there are some that is willing to go through all those to make sure that you are ok, that there is really nothing wrong, and if there was, lets work it out together.

but what if, after all that, you still feel that no one is reaching out to you? maybe they have climb that wall, or even bulldozed that wall (hehe). but yet, you keep building that wall over and over again, you keep stacking those bricks up again.

then who is to blame if you are left old, all alone with 27 seven cats? O_o

or what's worse, people whom you thought would be there for you, werent really there. not because they didnt want to. because they were in a position as difficult as yours. they're humans too. they too have got their ups and downs. they've been at the highest, and they have been at the lowest. and at the point of which you were at your lowest, they were at their lowest too.

but you were too consumed in your agony and your pain, that you forgot about everyone else. you were so consumed about yourself. you, you and you. all the while you were thinking, how could this person not know that i am feeling this way, feeling that way, that i am down. how can?! (ehem, emosi. heh.)
a little selfish? probably, im not sure.

however, there are those who would rather be for you first, then for themselves. =) how sweet huh? if they were able to see that you were at your lowest, why couldnt you have done the same? they've decided that others is more important than themself. selflessness for the people you care about. =)
can i be that way? hmmm. but i know, that when i help others, i help myself. kindness; the simplest things can mean so much.

with that, i would like to thank every soul that have been there for me, at anytime. be it in times in need or not.
sharing feeeeeliiingggssss, cam whoring session, sharing aspirations, listening to me whine, sharing your vast knowledge, always visiting my class even though i seldom visit your class, laughing, joking, reminding, reciting, encouraging, observing etc.
whether in need or not. because, im grateful for all of you. =) dont think i need to type the different names here right now. because if you find/think/feel (even if it's as small as a grain of rice) that you fit that list, well, you are one of those people. =)
in the past, the present, and insya Allah in the future. God bless you. =D


im never really alone. you're never really alone. we're never really alone. =)

THE MEASURE OF SUCCESS.

different people have different strengths; different things that can done, and different things that cannot be done. accomplishing something that is within your abilities, the best of what you have; that is my definition of success. i may not be able to mould a clay mug, as well as a 'clay-mug-maker' xP. it may not be in the best of shapes, in fact, it may not even look like a mug, but it is the best that i can do, with the little experience i have with clay moulding.
that is success that we can see with our naked eye.

however, success comes in more forms than one. success to me, is also finding the peace of mind, the contentment, from within. i could have gotten the best looking clay mug, but if i do not feel contented with it, how is that success? the feeling of satisfaction and joy comes with success. if i did not feel that way, logically, i probably don't feel like i have succeeded, right?

what is the shape of your clay mug?

its weird cos i still miss him. =/
thank you to those who asked about my abah. =) greatly appreciated, he is fine and well.
a little kurus, but very sihat, very happy.
he had so much to tell, so many things to give.
now at night, i can find comfort again. hearing his recitations in my room. =)

ain't no mountain high enough,
ain't no valley low enough,
that's ever gonna stop me from loving you.

was grooving that song with affein. we were feeling high after watching american idol. been pretty long since we did that. =P thank you for layan-ing me. and thank me for layan-ing you. it works both ways ok. hehe.

then, i dedicated part of the song by temptation to my mom.

i've got sunshine on a cloudy day.
when it's cold outside I've got the month of may.
i guess you'd say
what can make me feel this way?
my girl
talkin' 'bout my girl.

dah nyanyikan she said, tukar (change) my girl to mother ler. -__- cerewet pulak. haha. cuteness.

and was also the mak andam for abang tonight.
'com'on, smile like you mean it. nuwul made a joke, laugh laugh laugh!' =P
you look very nice lah ok. haha. well, i guess you should know why.

where nobody gets left behind. =)

***

today's lab was a little gruesome. embryonic cell line people. O_o
mincing, cutting, chopping involved! O_o X 10 000 000!
i never did bio before. i was a chem and physics student. so yes, this is a big hoo-haa for me.
10 days old, with the eyes and limbs already developed. AAAHH!



chants 'in the name of science and knowledge, in the name of science and knowledge, in the name of science and knowledge.'

ladies and gentleman, can i have your attention please.
pray with me that the girls and i gets the fyp topic we want. can? haha.
thank you, take care, and good night. eh wait, its not night yet. O_o
grrr. goodbye.

pretty please. hee.

was going through some of the RJ questions during year one. dont ask me why. haha. here's one of the RJ questions tangent tan gave me class in year 1 sem 2. yes, an interesting name for an interesting man. =) he's well known for his out of the ordinary RJ questions. x)

Complete a RJ starting with "I am a tiny mouse, faced with a superior opponent in
the form of a cat. It approaches me slowly, trying to make a meal out of me..."

I see it coming. And my instinct tells me to run.
I scurry off, trying to find a hole for me to hide. A hole big enough for me to squeeze in, but small enough to block the filthy paws of my opponent.
I run and run. It's not easy. Its big paws managed to hit my tail. Sometimes even my delicate body.

So many of my relatives have been its victim. Far too many. I am not going to be next. Not me. I'm ready to do anything. Anything just to get myself away from that beast.

As I turn around a bend, I was the happiest mouse alive. The happiest and the luckiest.
It was a dog.
The animal I've heard so much about. The animal that cats are always afraid of, always running away from. Wondering where I heard it? From my grandparents. It's been passed from generation to generation. =)
As I take cover behind my rescuer, although he didn't know he was one, I heard a sudden screech from behind. As I've expected, the beast stopped. Stopped the moment it saw its opponent. Now, it knows how I've been feeling the whole time. Finally, a taste of its own medicine.
The thing that came next came as a surprise. Although the cat ran away, the dog didn't budge. I guess all that has been passed from generation to generation may not all be true. Either that or dogs have just evolved. Evolved out of attacking cats.

That wasn't as important to me. I was just glad that I survived. That beast may come back one day, maybe even the next. But for now, it's gone and I'm safe. That is all that matters. For now.

haha. nothing better to post arh nuwul? =P

we've all got that beast chasing us once in awhile. just got to discover who's our dog; the one whom we take refuge in. =)

***

gtg. people are here and im still blogging. haha. in case you havent heard me for the past 532476787645332 times, MY ABAH IS COMING HOME TONIGHT! =D
bubbye. =)

yay!
lets hope i dont have a low iron level, or get sick.
siaper nak join? =D

be part of the humanitarian, be a blood donor. =)

azzah said something like, 'tengok budak ni, kaki ayam jer.'
then me being the always-ask-funny-weird-questions-girl said, 'kenape eh, biler kiter tak pakai kasut, dicakap kaki ayam? lembu pon tak pakai kasut per. kenape tak kata kaki lembu ker? kaki nyamok ker? kaki kucing ker? diorang pon tak pakai kasut per.'
azzah, 'pasal lembu ader hoofs, so macam kasut.'
me, 'abeh yang lain?'

yani and seetea was thinking hard too. as hard as i was. haha.
anyone got an answer to that? hehe.

ouh btw, my class is carpetted.

___


then this morning, yani asked me and liyana.
would you rather be with someone you love, or be with someone who loves you?
yani chose neither. liyana asked herself the same question two days ago.
i say,
dont have to worry too much, because that person who's got mutual feelings will be waiting for us/them at the pelamin. just gotta make sure that we/they are at the right pelamin and the right wedding. heh. XP

im in a crazy blogging mood. =D

the book im reading. it serves as such a good reminder for me. makes me wanna share everything with you guys. but that would be almost impossible. because, if i did that, it would be me typing almost everything out.
love the book! treasure chest of reminders. i like. =D

but i guess i can always share with you guys bit by bit huh? =)
because the best matters are those that are moderate, and 'those who go to extremes are doomed' as the Messenger of Allah PBUH said. that came from the book. XD

***

FRIDAY 19th JAN.

rushedddddd, rushedddd and rushedddd.

somehow, it makes me nervous in wanting to share something as 'major' as this. kekok, kaku dan segan. heh. but im gonna do it anyway. had it in draft for way too long. heh. cobwebs are almost visual. in a cyber world? -__- so you can just imagine how long its been drafted. heh.
and if at any point there are mistakes along the way, sorry eh? heh.


what is iman?
iman -> kepercayaan, membenarkan.

Iman ialah membenarkan dengan hati, menyatakan dengan lisan, dan melakukan dengan anggota badan. Ringkasnya orang yang beriman ialah orang yang percaya, mengaku dan beramal. Tanpa tiga syarat ini, seseorang itu belumlah dikatakan beriman yang sempurna - source.

what i know is, we go through hardship, we go through difficulty, we go through suffering for a reason. there is ALWAYS a reason for everything else that happens.
i was late for school because i woke up late. and i woke up late because i slept late. i slept late because i was watching a video.

simple cause and effect.

and in this case, we go through all these because we were really bad or its to increase our iman.
punishment, because we deserve it; for doing the evil things we may have done. does karma ring a bell?
OR
its as a test to us, for us.
'when Allah loves some people, He tests them.' - hadiith. because when our iman has increased and better-ed, we will become better, and stronger; mentally and emotionally. more importantly, we become better muslims. =)

untuk meningkatkan iman, dan keyakinan kita. taraf kiter sebagai hamba abdi dinaikkan. di-up-kan sikit. kwang kwang kwang.

i remembered a few years back when i was told this. i had a really bad stomache. i was not able to move. but keeping that in mind, where, if i get through it with patience, my iman will increase, i smiled. i literally smile. i stood so much to gain if i just hold on a little longer, with patience.
'Dan bersabarlah kamu, sesungguhnya Allah bersama orang-orang yang sabar.' - (QS: Al-Anfal: 46)
who wouldnt want their iman to increase right?


you can have ilmu, and have a lot of iman.
you can have ilmu, and just enough iman.
but you can never not have ilmu, and have iman. without knowing, without having knowledge, we may never know the right path, siratalmustaqim.


iman, taufiq and hidayah.
only with hidayah can you have iman.
taufiq -> knowledge that has been given to us.

hidayah -> having the ability to appreciate, and apply the knowledge that has been given to us. taking things as an iktibar.
and hidayah is given to those that are chosen; yang dibukakan pintu hati.
however, with constant prayers, righteous deeds, amal soleh in the name of Allah, insya Allah, taufiq and hidayah will be bestowed to those who believe.

but to think about it, dont everything come from Allah?
so that is why, we as humans are given the ability to think, the ability to diffentiate the good from the bad, the right from the wrong. which path to follow and which one not to. dibekalkan akal dan pemikiran.

that is what i get when i converse with abang. =) the wonderful things we talk about. thank you abang. lup you many manym. heh. XD cant be missing my dad anymore than this. hah.

***

she; the one i look up to.

she didnt feel too good about herself. her mind is running amuck. tears keep rolling down her cheeks.
she didnt know what to do.
but deep down, she knows that is not forever. she knows that it will get better. but she also know, that in order for all of that to happen, she has got to believe.
she knows that if she believe, she will become.
BELIEVE AND BECOME.

when she felt that, and she did something good for someone else with sincerity, untuk keredhaanNya, somehow, there seemed to be hope. of feeling better. of that burden on her shoulder to be lifted. seeing the people she helped smile and very grateful, made her smile. finding that trust in Him made her feel all better.

'After hardship, Allah will soon grant relief.' - (Quran 65 : 7)

***

happy 22nd to a belly good friend of mine. mr sword of. =)
may you continue to be blessed and may you continue fulfilling your quest of being a khalifah, insya Allah.
till then, good night people. =) take care, and rest well.
blessing that many tend to overlook sometimes (myself included), good health and free time. =) toodles!

long overdue survey thingy thingy from azizah. heh. jangan marah huh. nanti kene jual. =P

ur name plus "poo" : im thinking it'll be pretty smelly and dirty? heh. nuwulpoo

two feelings at the moment : peace of mind, tired.

wat are u listenin to rite now : rtm1; forum perdana.

a part of a song lyric that is in ur mind : yaa dzaljalaalii wal iqram.

the highlight of ur week : losing and finding the peace of mind.

wat are u craving to have rite now : sticky chewy chocolate.

unforgettable childhood memory : kindergarten malay dance for graduation. =)

not so good memory : dont dig up the past anymore. prevents you from moving forward.

wat are ur nicknames : nuwul puwul, queen of randomness, self-enternaining system, budak suker selit menyelit, kuda, udang, unta, baby lioness, mysterious woman, si buta.. yar, thats all i can remember.

your 3 plans for tomorrow : go to school, go to mosque for class and awal muharram program, go night cyclying.

are you tinking of sumone now : a huh. =)

are u single : yup.

wat do u want : the ticket to Paradise.

say aniting u wan to whoever is reading ur blog : come more often. dont shy shy, go on and tag. ;)

are u feelin hungry : kinda. after this, gonna eat keropok lekor. yumms. hehe.

who are u missin rite now : missing my dad the most.

last fren you talked to online : rashidah.

what do you like about the nite : the silence. the fact that i can sleep after a long day.

if u visit a farm, what would u like to see : animals, flora. like you dont know that im a nature freak. heh.

wen u were a kid, what would u wan to be till now : hmm. i wanted to be a cashier, then i wanted to be a zookeeper. now, i still wanna be a zookeeper. working with animals. greatness.

last gift : everything is a gift. but, err from rashidah; a hedgehog stuffed toy which she claims look like me -__-, diary for 2007 and err a err shampoo. heh.

do u like it : i love it.

do u play an instrument : err, recorder in primary school count? hehe.

wat song do u last hear : dont know the title, but its super cartooney.

people u hate most : i dont hate anyone, never had and insya Allah never will. hate is such a strong word. never hate the person, just hate their actions.

who makes u laugh de most : my mom.

what makes u smile : a lot of things. just to name a few; seeing others smile, realising the greatness that surrounds me, trusting Allah for whatever that may come my way, making people smile. even the smallest things like watching an ant crawling and a bird flying can do that for me. the list never stops.

who do u have a crush on : well i do have crush on a fictional character; jimmy neutron. haha.

name 10 ppl to do this :
whoever wants to. go on. its actually fun. =)

The Happiest Woman in the World
Chapter 7.2: Blindness of the Heart is Real Blindness.

There was a blind man who lived happily with his loving wife, his devoted son and his good friend. The only thing that bothered him was the darkness in which he lived. He wished that he could see the light and the things that made him happy with his own eyes.

A brilliant doctor came to the city in which this blind man lived, so he went to him and asked him for medicine that would help him to see. The doctor gave him some drops and told him how to use them, and warned him that he may see suddenly, at any moment.

The blind continued to use the drops even though no one else believed that they would work, but after a few days he saw the light sudenly, whilst sitting in his garden. He was filled with joy and ran into the house to tell his dear wife, but he saw her in his room, betraying him with his friend, and he could not believe what he saw. Then he went to the other room and saw his son stealing something from his cupboard.

The blind man retraced his steps, screaming,
'This is not a doctor, this is an accused sorcerer!'

Then he took a pin and pierced his eyes, and nervously went back to the happiness that he was used to.

"psychological anxiety is worse than physical illnesses."

makes your heart wrench doesnt it? how something thought to be so true is actually all a lie.
truth, lie, denial.

where would you rather be?
truth: the faster you know it, the faster you can get over it.
lie: it's better not knowing. you like things just the way they are.
denial: everything is not alright, but let's pretend that it's still alright anyways.
i choose truth please. =)

so, what's the moral of this sad story?
contentment with several limitations that have been given to us?
but, there is really nothing wrong with trying to improve things right?

excessive thinking begets delusion.

i still hvnt started on my PP. thinking of profiling abang man, but i shall contemplate on it a little further.
if you've been a regular, im sure you would know i had a cousin who got married last year, a month +++ days back?
yeah, he is the one.
he is way cool. a role model for us, for me. inside out, the worldly matters and spiritual matters.
thinking of PP makes me panic. grrr.

***

anyways, currently reading a book about being the happiest women. it says, one of the ways to get rid of worries is to get ourselves busy with things that are useful and beneficial. stop idleness.
so yes nuwul, stop idleness. and start doing your PP.

and, stop procrastinating. a way in getting rid of your worries is to start doing what you are suppose to do. just do it. you'll feel better after getting rid of the matter that has been following and haunting you. haunting you to deal with it. so, easiest way, just deal with it.
its the easiest, simplest, and most well known logic everyone can think of. but not everyone does that.
guide and protect me, please.
i know when i dont do something that is under my responsibility, i will feel guilt and worry. i also know, after doing it, i will experience relief. so whats stopping me from my end goal? the end goal that will give me contentment and joy? that will relief me from the worries? what?

***

grumpy. that's what ive been feeling these few days. on and off. easiest thing to blame it on is probably pms. everyone blames it on pms these days.
i do that too. too often i would say. like whats up with that?
well dear readers, i think its just an excuse. a huh. an excuse.
an excuse to be allowed to behave that way just because we dont want to make a little bit of effort to become better. for some reason, when we say we have pms, people will just leave it as that, and dont poke any further. which in some cases is exactly what we want.
practice patience. patience in all my affairs.

and at times like this, i need and love to isolate and reflect on myself. tafakkur.
things that i have done.
things that i have not done.
things that i should do.
things that i shouldnt do.
its between me and Him.

Reflect. Repent. Reaffirm.

***

i cant wait for saturday.
open house was a-otay. =)
thanks for coming.
tmr is back to normal school days. =/
where's the fun to that?

jamsy said, 'eh, the paper crane like prison break.'
so i guess ive got myself a michael scofield. XP
haha. thanks imran.

msg in the paper crane:
to kak nuwul
Happy New Year
from imran

one word, cuteness.

let me walk you through my first day of school ok?
i got my lappy reformatted. =) yay.
now, i can use my lappy.
the it help desk.
i went there three time sey. and only after the third visit did i get it back.
ouh 'my precious' - in golem's raspy voice.

just now banu demonstrated how i walked. tengok tengok, jalan macam gangster jer. betol ker? hmmm.

i just realised something about myself. there are times when i notice things that some tend to miss.

i think i should be a private investigator.

anyways,
i missed lab session today.
dont ask me why, because you dont have to. im gonna tell you anyway.
kwang kwang kwang. heh.
-___-
blame it on my forgetful-ness.
labcoat, no where in sight.

the girls sent me home. =D heh.
liy got some stuff for herself and a friend. my leg can now rest. yay. =)
we shall all see tmr. =P

then, i mistakenly send an important email to somebody i dont even know.
-____________________________________________________-
gotta remind myself to make sure that i check eeeeeeeverything before doing something. double, triple checks even, if i need to.

ouh, and tmr ive got a test. mcb. how wonderful.
not. heh.

grrr. someone cheer me up.



its deeper than that.

i love boys II men. =D
love, love, love, love 'em. so.. soulful. wholesome. an great vocals. whats the point if they sing like parrots(?) right?
i thank my brothers for introducing them to me when i was younger.
and i will say it again, im grateful. very grateful.

remind me, stop looking at what i dont have and start looking at what i have. =)

***

thoughts: harmonyworks conference. '06.

who says we all have to be the same? to be similar? who says something beautiful cannot come out of differences? who says we need to be all similar to get great results?

lets use group of singers as an example.
different vocal range; bass, soprano, alto, tenor.
all different. but when they combine efforts, something totally... how do i put it.. totally..
harmonious.
like boys II men! heh. =D

bands,
different instruments + combined effort = melodious music.

important thing is, working together. thats all it takes.
teamwork. and team works. =D

im still learning. and i will continue to learn. insya Allah.