If we could light up every street with our cellular phones, then maybe we can save ourselves or maybe we won't. But it doesn't even matter if we got no plan, as long as you're holding on to somebody's hand.
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And only try to save myself
i expect to pass through this world but once.
any good, therefore, that i can do
or any kindness i can show to any fellow creature,
let me do it now.
let me not defer or neglect it
for I shall not pass this way again.
-- stephen grellet
From falling in love
Learning the best way to navigate through life while stepping on the least number of toes.
"Anybody who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not." --Vaclav Havel.
So go ahead and chuckle a little.
Afraid to walk the streets alone
love means to commit oneself without guarantee,
to give oneself completely in the hope that
your love will produce love in the loved person.
love is an act of faith,
and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
-- erich fromm
Waiting for something
falling in love with someone
isn't always going to be easy.
anger, tears, laughter..
it's when you want to be together despite it all.
that's when you truly love another.
i'm sure of it.
-- author unknown
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.
now everyone go, AWWWW. quote from eliza, 'love me, hate me. it's still an obsession.' HAHA.
There's Not a Violent Bone in Your Body
You're cool and collected, even when someone really gets under your skin. And while you don't blow up when you're angry, you know how to express your anger calmly. You don't bottle emotions up or let them get out of control. For you, violence would never be an option.
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.
Like most people, you find it a little difficult to stay at at weight you're comfortable with. If you change a few habits and make food less important, you may find the struggle hardly exists anymore.
Aku suka sekiranya kau seperti mawar aspirasi setiap mujahidah.
Bentengilah dirimu dengan perasaan malu yang bertunjungkan rasa keimanan dan keindahan taqwa kepada Allah..
Hiasilah wajah mu dengan titisan wudhuk... ingatlah bahawa ciri-ciri seorang wanita solehah ialah ia tidak melihat kepada lelaki dan lelaki tidak lihat kepadanya.
Sesuatu yang tertutup itu lebih berharga jika dibandingkan dengan sesuatu yang terdedah... umpama sebutir permata yang didedahkan buat perhatian umum dengan permata yang diletakkan dalam satu bekas yang tertutup... sudah pasti keinginan melihat permata yang tersembunyi lebih daripada yang terdedah,
wanita solehah yang taat dan patuh kepada Al Khaliq dalam melayari liku-liku kehidupannya adalalah harapan setiap insan yang bernama Adam...
this made me wonder, ponder and think. hmm.
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im grateful that i have my mom as a best friend. she's my bona fide hero. :) i can tell her anything. am i lucky and blessed or what? hee. love her many many.
today's problem was mainly about gladiators. nyeheh. teringat GLADiator. which reminds me, i hvnt watched gladiator or troy. i watched a bit of troy but left halfway. not the movies, but my house. it was on dvd. :P
glenn asked, 'is pluto a planet?' i said, 'no. it's a dog.'
glenn is my faci btw. haha.
***
monday and wednesday were like play sessions, in particular the last few minutes after finishing up business.
i asked, can you do this?
sofy said, 'CAN!' i, 'ok. go go. go do.' sofy, pauses and looks at me. i, 'eh, why? do lah.' sofy, 'wait eh. let me laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!' continues laughing for 1min, before actually doing it.
we talked about so many things. she sang the song, 'sorry, blame it on me' and 'beautiful girls' with me. and she's pri3. haha. i ended up explaining to her the song. sofy,'whats the meaning of suicidal?'
mampos.
ok, relax. that is not my answer to the qn, but my reaction to the qn. this innocent kid, and the word suicide, just dont seem to go along very well.
therefore, mampos.
and i wanna get 'the little rascals' dvd. if theres any.
k, time to update about raya! seems like ages since i had a long post. and ive got a feeling this will be a looooong one. filled with photos, most likely. we'll see. :)
if youve been a regular reader or someone close to me, you would know that i spent my first day of raya in two countries! yup yup. second time i spent first day of raya at kampong. WHEEHOO.
i was so DEAD beat from the previous day, i slept through the whole journey. i wonder how i looked at the custom. mulut ku ternganga tak eh? eeeks.
malam raya was awesome. takbir recited while mercuns flying here and there. got fireworks k! the atmosphere got me awed. a fuzzy wuzzy feeling in the inside. :) i was in the toilet, and i thought i was in a battle field. wahaha. with the kids playing mercun, i was afraid it would get into the toilet. nyeheh.
and as i thought about that, it made me tear. thinking how it is for the muslim brothers and sisters that were less fortunate than i am. how there really were IN a battlefield. bombs here and there, killing many. especially with the constant plays from RTM1, showing this girl wailing next to a corpse. :'(
send my prayers. :)
we really do have a lot to be thankful for. :) and even so, we tend to forget where it all comes from. Astaghfirullah.
reflections aside, everyone, welcome to my kampong halaman! :D
this, is my nenek moyang's house. 'meh masok, meh. buat macam rumah orang.' my uncle said. haha. i love seeing the bond my dad and his brothers have. they seem to talk non stop. haha. that's just the entrance. the house is elevated, and i used to play at the bottom, scaring people at night. we all tried to scare each. heh.
the gentlemen.
the ladies.
the others werent able to go back; work and such. hee.
my atok is well. it was as if he was never ill to begin with. but he does get tired easier. my atok, one strong dude, one interesting fellow! hehe.
we balik on the first day of raya, and i was pretty emotional in the car. because... ouh well. :')
. . . .
back in singapore. :) MAMA&ME! we were pink and black. realised i didnt take photo with my laling father. heh. the boys in pinkish orangey and black songkok.
that you see are my brothers. :) yes, that dude in purple, he's my baby brother. :D we've lived in the same house, ate from the same two hands, and shared the same pram. he calls my mama, mama. we're in the same school (well sort of). and when he slept over i asked. ader baju tak? nak pinjam skirt skali? i love my baby brother. he used to always say, 'kak. ingat tak dulu kiter selalu gaduh? haha. haziq miss that sey sometimes.' his parents used to bring me out a lot when i was younger. so till now, there will always be this bond that can never be broken. Alhamdulillah.
some of the cousins. and yes, my uncle is a pengancem.
. . .
this year's first day raya in singapore was a little different. :) abang was going to japan one week after first day of raya.
it's been 3days already. sunyi juga. no body to disturb me and kacau me. irritate the bagheevas out of me. nek mok slept over for a week++ after raya, and when she left, the house seem even more sunyi-er.
he is well and fine there, right oonisan? :) it's one hour difference from here to tachikawa. here 5, there 6. and the people there dresses up with a sense of style he said.
his roomie, oonisan and his most lovely gorgeous and wonderful sister. XP
the guys trademark, CHAMPIONE CHAMPIONE CHAMPIONE moments when they are taking photos.
after watching his plane move to the runway, we left. the clock was 2350hours.
because, we are closer than you think. :)
when we were saying goodbyes, he was circling around to hug kiss and thank all that came, sad sad instrumental songs played. walau. makin sedih ok! i was saying to kak noorma, 'omg! urgh, stoopid song, stoopid song.' GRRR.
. . . .
ouh yes! there was quite a number of people sending him off. the police officer said, WAH. so many people arh? send only one person right? in response i said, its the love bebeh. its the love. and oonisan's friend said, cik balik naik bus? sewa bus? lol.
because when it's the hassani and abdul hamid's family, we come in swamps. yup yup, swamps. :) i like this, family culture and tradition. Alhamdulillah, praises be to Allah.
although there were some hiccups today, im still grateful. :) trying hard to stay positive bebeh. ouh, please reappear! *prays hard.
on the way to school, lab, siti's company, shawny's lameness, faci junainah's kind act (k i dont know if she's married. :P), caring friends, lunch, eliza's stories, h for hug, h for hanim.
currently in library, on hanim's lappy. she helping me type my pp poster, on my lappy. how can i not love her?! :D
one long eventful day. i want to go home and lie on my bed soooooooo badly right now.
just finished putting up the curtain. and i happen to be online because i switch on my lappy to hear the raya songs! thank goodness there's these songs.
a kind of motivation to continue, until i TOTALLY finish. semangat sikit kan dengar lagu happy happy. :D and kak anis bought famous amos for us. yumms. yay! X)
and yaya made me smile. haha. i miss you lah kecik. jom jom! i can return you in time for first day of raya. hehe.
"yuhoo!!!
RAYA OUTING WITH NADY ON THE 3RD OF SEPTEMBER NOVEMBER! =)
untuk semua anggota NADY terutama NUWUL...
marilah kita sama-sama
M.E.N.I.K.M.A.T.I
suasana jalan hari raya bersama-same ye..." - kecik
haiz, my big mouth.
*get well soon. :)
now, its time to pack. goodbye world.
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Title: Date/Time: Thursday, October 11, 2007 // 11:18 PM
my raya mode is on, full force! haha. in the beginning i wasnt too excited about raya. since last year, ive been looking forward to Ramadhan more that i have Syawal. and feeling kinda down that Ramadhan is gonna leave, with only one more day left.
getting older and wrinklier i guess.
but then, meeting up with the brothers and sisters yesterday made me sooo excited to celebrate raya! haha. was there to celebrate the october babies bday, especially so saif's. but he wasn't there, dont ask why. long story. heh. so we celebrated shahidah's instead. :)
ustaz was youtube-ing raya songs. and we were singing along to those songs! karaoke pon ader. XD AAAHHH! gerek teramat sangat yesterday! :DD mcm nak sleepover ajer. hehe.
im thankful that i went that night. it reminded me again, why i love Syawal. XD it's more than just celebration because of culture. it's a celebration for our success / victory in practicing self restrain during the blessed month of Ramadhan. with the different forms of ujian that we each went through. :)
and amazing isn't it how during this month, in the moment of human weakness, we are able to remind ourselves, 'i am fasting. i shouldn't be doing this. i shouldn't be saying that.' why can't we do that every month, throughout the year?
let's try. we should remind each other. move forward, together. God willing. :)
and during this month, it's like there is a renewal and strengthening of ukhuwwah. dont you think? bermaaf maafan, kunjung mengunjung. subhanAllah. can you feel it bebeh? :D
before continue doing whatever that i have to do, an advanced shout out to fellow muslim brothers and sisters:
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI! EID MUBARAK!
TAKABBALALLAH WAMINNA WAMINGKUM TAKABBAL YA KAREEM. :)
***
i cant wait to go back kampong tmr. the feeling's just different in kampong. im grateful to be able to experience it. hee.
yani kirim-ed salam the lembuhs. insyaAllah ku kirimkan salammu wahai yani. XP sunny said, 'selamat hari raya. dont forget to eat more.'
i'll miss you ppl, but dont miss me too much. i wanna use mascara for raya. :P
"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
as i observe what's happening around me, i realize that it's not easy to move on. learn to maybe not let go, but just move forward.
have you been in that situation? experience the exact same thing? you keep trying and trying in wanting to make it seem like how it used to. but it was no longer possible. it takes two hands to clap, as it does for two to tango. or how it is that when you try to move on, there is something that just keeps pulling you back. have you ever? had that happen to you?
and as you realize that it could never be what you hope, you run. run away. away from it all, maybe just try to at least. hoping that time would bring you along with it, and never going back. just like how it can't turn back. instead continue moving on and on, and never stopping. never stopping for anyone. that's exactly what you want to do.
but you realize, it's only normal to feel that way. it is never easy in the beginning. because time can't bring you along with it. but what it can do though, is heal those wounds. nurse it back to the way it has been before. slowly but surely. it's not easy, no body said it was. just have a little faith. and you'll be fine. we will all be fine. insyaAllah. :)
"nobody knows, the way it's gonna be. -oasis."
inspired by the cascades of events; today.
you know what they say, in the end everything is going to be alright. if it's not alright, it is not the end. ;)0 comment(s)
talking nonsense a little too much makes my heart feel heavy. it has no real benefits and it doesn't feed my soul and spirit.
go figure.
no wonder we're taught to keep quiet when we have nothing beneficial to say. talking too much pon, nanti the likelihood of sinning is higher. so, i should be careful. of the things i say.
and the nawaitu. lagi penting kan kan kan? heh. :)
berdzikir ker, read something that can increase our knowledge ker... aaahhhhh. i miss that; like going to the second floor bishan library. :)
Ramadhan is ending soon. in less than a week. ouh my, how i'm going to miss you, ouh Ramadhan. :')
as i think back of my emotions in the beginning of Ramadhan, and the self promises ive made to myself, i'm glad i have been able to keep most of them thus far. praises be to Allah. :)
ustaz super nice writing. :)
and in this last 10 nights, let's strive to triple or four-ple our ibadah. semoga diterima taubat and ibadah. Amin. :)
andainya tidak dapatku bertemu dengan Ramadhan yang akan datang, inginku...
***
and saturday night, i learnt that tomyam belongs only in your mouth and not your eyes. *smug face.
went for qiyam that night and i realised just how much i missed my sisters. :) mcm rinduuuuu sangat. and like seronok teramat sangat got to overnight with them. the laughs and all. wheehoo. :D
NIKMAT BEB. hahaha.
that was the most used word of the night. thanks to my big mouth, i think i've heard the word MENIKMATI more that 50times in one night. LOL. thanks eh sis? :P
first time sahur pat masjid. coolness. :)
***
had tuition the day after and my most wonderful parents sent me and picked me up. mcm princess sey. :P i feel very fortunate. :) Alhamdulillah. . . . we went out for buka and there was a surprise!!! XD yayness. nak terloncat pon ader, do the happy dance pon ader. tapi memandangkan kiter in public kan, so had to contain my happiness and excitement. nyeheh. ;D
and i bumped into rashidah at j8 just now. our expressions were priceless. jaws dropped, eyes popped out. followed by screwing them back in before giving one warm hug in the middle of the atrium. :D
i miss my besties. :( freddy! how come i dont bump into you?
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i walked into class and, my team said 'EH! you're so red today.' so today, i was little red riding hood, push pop. and well, the traffic light. with sammie in yellow and zhao in green. thanks shawny. he's so amused by it he put it on his msn dp. lol.
***
eliza's surprise bday party! we managed to pull it off. hehe. i was suppose to be communicating (read: tricking) with the birthday girl. and i had to tell white lies, just so that the plan would run smoothly. ouh God, forgive me. :)
eliza asked soooooooo many questions ok. so difficult to trick someone with an inquisitive mind. HAHA.
told her to accompany me go cwp. she asked, what you wanna get cwp. i was discussing with seetea on what to say, and finally decided on shoes. and then she asked, what kinda shoe i looking for! -__- banyak soalan budak ni.
eliza ajak seetea go with us but she say she go home first, cos she got headache (which is true. :/) but in actual fact, she met yani. THEN, we saw her bfie aka bday girl's arch enermy aka red ranger or blue ranger; aiyah whichever k. haha. and then eliza asked, eh, how come seetea never go home with him. tanyer soalan yang tidak boleh dijawab lagi! aiyoyo. heh.
and during the times i couldnt answer her qns, i just kept quiet. better quiet than say anymore lies, the shoes is more than enough. :P
yani came to school just to celebrate her bday. awww. and bring the bday presents and all. yay.
we were laughing alot.
with L.O.V.E. shadows and whatnots. stomach pain ok. seetea = standup comedian. HAHA. :P pics will be uploaded when everything is fine with my electronics(?!) insyaAllah.
i wished liy was there. :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETS! XD
***
yesterday, abang bought luggage for japan.
i reckon the next time i cant fly to japan, i should get myself comfortable in that luggage of his. *smug face.
ive already had my practise session just now. *raises eyebrows up and down cheekily.
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