50 words is not enough to write what i have to say.
with 50 words, i won't even be able to convince a kid to give me his playboy for my psp.
that is how not enough 50 words is.

ouh, and i have a cyber stalker for a friend.
hi stalker! shame on you. haha. 0 comment(s)

contentment is taking your present situation -
whatever obstacle you are facing,
whatever limitation you are living with,
whatever chronic condition wears you down,
whatever has smashed your dreams,
whatever factors and circumstances in life tend to push you under
-and admitting you don't like it but never saying, "i can't cope with it."

you may feel distress, but you may never feel despair. you may feel pressed down, bu you may never feel defeated.

if the first thing confidence does is to stabilize you, the second thing it does is to stretch you. the moment that i have my foundation strong and stable, i am then in position to begin stretching. insecure people seldom stretch because they are not willing to live on the edge of life.

hellen keller said, "security is mostly a superstition. it does not exist in nature, nor do they children of men as a whole experience it. avoiding danger i no safer in the long run than outright exposure. life is either a daring adventure or nothing."


reading is goood. 0 comment(s)

i didn't give up.
you did.
i didn't give up.
you did.
i didn't give up.
you did.
i didn't give up.
you did.

i just admitted
that's all.
i would give anything to forget.

0 comment(s)

i just freaking went on an unplanned shopping spree today.
i went to get myself new asics running shoes with freddy. i can't wait to run in them! no procrastinating nuwul.
it's actually quite pretty.


that's my baby, the blue one. i think i'll name her, 'pru'. reminds me of charmed as well as the word through.
she was strong and she lead. i need to lead my life to a direction. but my compass is still moving, and i'll continue to steer. and find the right direction. and well, it'll get me through anything. anything. :) where ever life brings me to.
gosh i love symbolic stuff. XD

anyways, there was a red one. the red one was really ugly though. we both agreed. hahaha.
shoe shopping!
on impulse, freddy bought a yellow prettyfit pumps. on impulse. *shakes head. but they were really nice though. if i was acting on MY impulse, i would have bought another shoe. a shoe i won't look ridiculous not running in them. if you know what i mean. :P

then went to plaza singapura with mama. so gerek, go shopping with her. bra shopping nonetheless. hahahah.
it's been awhile since we had a girly outing. :)
got some stuff for my face. facial foams and stuff.
cost me a bomb. i am on a retail therapy. wait, let me say was. spending to much money is not healthy. especially not in one day. hehe.

on an different note, i am watching grey's anatomy and the buffering time is irritating me. ROAR. 0 comment(s)

i wish i didn't remember.
i wish i could forget.
i wish i could stop thinking.

for just one night, i wish it didn't bother me so much.
and i just wish it wasn't so hard to do that.
wishes may never materialize. unlike dreams, which probably could. eventually.

"you can get over it. you'll just have to survive."

- dr. karev, grey's anatomy. 0 comment(s)

eeee. i lost my optimism. i don't like.
i need to hang out with super enthusiastic people more often.
i want to exude positive energy, again. 0 comment(s)

i am beginning to be introverted inside out, writing or not.
i keep talking to myself, now more than thrice a day.
freddy said, you should really stop doing that. on one of the days when we were having our frequent washroom visits. nat realized that i talked to myself too.
maybe i should really stop doing that. if it freaks your bestie out, it must really freak other people out. haha.
mengomel je nuwul eh. haha. nagging only eh. haha.
occasionally, it's like a replay or re-enactment of how i could talk or converse with some other people. on something very very important to me. or something like that.

and when i'm alone in my room or just house, i dance. replaying songs that i've danced to. sometimes humming to my own rhythm. going crazy, lose control. it helps release the frustrations. really really really.

and just so you know. my room is in a total mess. i can't see 50% of my floor. probably the worst state my room has ever been in. i think it reflects how i feel inside.
i can't wait for THE REVAMP. seriously. now all i have to do is hunt for cardboard boxes for the junk and sort them out.

.
.
.

i want do something with my life, instead of being in a transition that goes no where. i am worried sick, and i want this so bad. please please please please.
i need direction, i want a map. i want this. so so bad.

*prays hard.

.
.
.

it took me a lot of effort to not go there once i switched on my lappy. i should really learn my lesson, or should i say lessons.. stop hurting yourself babe. :)

.
.
.

are you strong, or just a good actress? 0 comment(s)

NHM: wants to be a surfer chick. says:
eh read this

Don't despair if you carry a bit of excess baggage - those fat cells might just
give a bit of protection other than to cuchion you against a bad fall.
fat
deposits in the buttocks and hips may not be such a bummer after all as this may
lower the risk of diabetes.
that is for you always making fun of my big
butt!
HEHEHE

MUHTAR..<> says:
i didnt ok

NHM: wants to be a surfer chick. says:
you did!!!

MUHTAR..<> says:
heeeee 0 comment(s)

rizal said, 'eh you can write a book. like a biography or something.'
that got me into an uncontrollable laughter. 0 comment(s)

oniisan,
thank you for bringing this nature freak to hakone so that she can see the mountains!
thank you for opening the opportunity for me to come to japan in the first place.
thank you for welcoming us to your rumah jebon.
thank you for blanja-ing me a lot of food and a lot of jalan-jalan.
thank you for being patient with my gelebeh-ness.

and thank you for being my brother. thank you! XD

had such a gerek time bathing in the bath tub for 1.5hours. hahaha.
baring and tido rompok-rompok pon best. i like many many!
such an enjoyable stay. me love it. can't wait to come again and feel like i'm in a very big air conditioned town/globe. X)
you will be missed. we laughed so much! gosh, miss that. :)


loads of love, hugs and pimples kisses from your one and only, most darling and gorgeous sister.

otay, bye! :* 0 comment(s)

days turned to nights,
tears turned to joys,
smiles turned to laughters,
rain or sunshine, dark or light,
i'll remember these few days, for eternity.

a failed attempt at being poetic at 0000hours in the morning. haha.

im blogging from tokyo, tachikawa!

am still in tokyo, and tonight is my last night here. tmr will be my last day in my smelly oniisan's apartment.
leaving at 1200hours and flying off at 1910hours.
time sure vroomed pass mama, oniisan and i.

the first time i stepped out of narita airport, it was freezing cold. it was raining and i felt like i was in an ice cooler. nasib baik ader shawl, kalau tak beku jugak aku pat sane.

my brother came with a bouquet of flowers for us! soooo sweeet. tak pernah dapat fresh flowers as a gift. HAHA. my first time! in japan lagi! speaking of my firsts, i've had a few firsts during my stay in japan. cool or whaaaat!! so gerek! i like!
shall blog more about this the next time. ;)

as for now, let's just copy and paste a short 'composition' of what i have previously wrote in an email. attempting to think of different words and phrases or whatever right now is making me have a headache.

the experience in the air plane was.... awesome!
saw the sunrise and all those naturey things that i totally love.
the food was excellent, and so was the service. yay SQ!
once i got out of the jap airport; my brother was waiting with his already very long hair and two bouquet of flowers. hehehe. i like!
the temperature was freezing cold the first time i stepped outside. mcm pat aircon!! 19.2 degrees. still is the same temperature now, but i guess, ive kind of adapted and all. hehehehe. and trust me, i think i'll be putting on weight. it's so cold, i keep on eating and eating to keep myself warm. even though i can feel my tummy is full. i still wanna sental my face. hahahaha. i sound so violent.

ok, enough about me being fat. hahaha.

anyways, i've been to quite a number of places.
from shinagawa aquirium to look at fishes, sea lions and dolphins(!!!),
to shimo-kitasawa to shop and dine at the all you can eat pakistan restaurant for only S$20,
to hakone to see MOUNT FUJI (most favouritestestestest so far),
to shinjuku shibuya for the bright lights of tokyo.
there are tonnes and tonnes and tonnes of people there, mostly teenagers. just like in shimo-kitasawa. but the interesting part here is the fact that when they cross the traffic light, at this particular junction just outside the train station, they can cross where ever they want to when the light turns a green man (btw, their green man is wearing a topi). left, right, AND diagonally. mcm semut! so many peopleeeee! SUBHANALLAH.

been on so many different kinds of transportation.
by air, water and land.
air; to get here. cable car and rope way considered by air tak eh? i'm not sure myself. hehe.
water; the cruise at hakone to see MOUNT FUJI from far. LOVE.
land; normal train, monorail, limited express train and foot. i have yet to ride the nyonya sebelah's bicycle. HAHAHAHAHA. -_- ehem, excuse me.
been on train after train after train after train.

to get to hakone, it took us 3hours. 3 HOURS! the total traveling time we spent getting to places, i can ulang alik, ulang alik to melaka. hehehe.

0 comment(s)