it was great being around people you can let your guards down and just be yourself. it's incredible.

i didn't care i was singing loudly badly in the shower.
i didn't care that i jumped into bed (knowing that it could probably pecah. that's happened before..)
i didn't care i was in my own world dancing in front of the mirror.
i wanted to be the silliest girl, i could, and i was.
they obviously didn't either. instead, they embraced it.
LOL.

and that, that was one of the bestest nights i've ever had. :)
during that night, we learnt (more like a revision) that we've got each other's back. no questions asked.

that feeling, that feeling is wonderful. :)
the bestest besties.

***

you know when you haven't met a childhood friend for many many years, you should be prepared to be totally blown away by how they've changed. like REALLY REALLY change.

i was caught by surprise. ok, that's actually an understatement of the century. LOL.
heloooo beef-cake. haha. to think i used to always tease that beef-cake.
my reaction must have been really big because he stopped for awhile and said, 'kenape.. susah sangat ke nak percaya?'
WELL YES! tu pasal reaction aku mcm gitu!

***

i should always think good of people. to never buruk sangka. i should have known that the characters i fell in love with are still there. :)

some people just keep proving me wrong.

***

the cousin i grew up playing catching, roller blading, masak-masak-ing, swimming and rolling down the top of the hill at the park behind my block with is getting married this weekend.
SO EXCITING! XD 0 comment(s)

who is the first person you want to run to, to share your happiness and success?
i know who my person is.
but my person is just a dark shadow that has slowly faded away.

what 13th was was closure. the days after that seemed a tad easier. but then comes along another person. and the only thing that person reminds me of is my person.
and then i realised, the past few days was just a disguise. it was still as hard. 0 comment(s)

i left home grinning.
grinning, for no apparent reason. i couldn't not grin. i couldn't.
i just felt happy.
if i could tap dance, i would have tap danced in the middle of the interchange the other day. i was grinning (almost like a chikopek) at everyone and everything. and surprisingly, they smiled right back.

i felt.. i was happy.
i was just glad i was alive.
everything just looked wonderful. everything just look like they were coloured a little brighter. at that point of time i believed everything is going to be alright.

i haven't felt that way for a very long long time.
i was so happy i felt that for that few moments.

and i wish it had stayed a little longer. :)

***

ladies, let's dance to hairspray soundtrack during our overnight please!
FUN AND A GREAT WORKOUT. x)
4 more days 0 comment(s)

wanna hear something scary?
as i'm typing, occasionally looking down at the keyboard, my pimple gets in the way. i can see it. HUGEASS OR WHAT?!
i bet if i sit a little closer to the desk, it'll cover the letter B. yar, B for big. or maybe letter V. V for VERY BIG.
goodness! i have to put a stop to this. if it get's any bigger, it could start it's own governing body. take over the world even.

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anyways, me and the fammie were out on sunday at sedap corner. not bedok corner but sedap corner. and the sedap corner is at the corner of simpang bedok, or it's in simpang bedok, or disimpangan simpang bedok, or disebelah simpang bedok.. or something like that. TO THE MORE IMPORTANT BITS! the food was nice, and the ambience was lovely. and i saw chef bob! haha.
you know chef bob? alah, yang tembam tembam and gelap gelap. hmmm, kalau tak tau ni mesti tak tgk suria kan? *shakes head.

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ouh yar. on an irrelevant note, i think that not knowing who patrick star, or any character in spongebob squarepants should be made a crime.
just last week, my colleague asked, who is that fat man? (pointing to my hp)
fat man? what fat man?
OUHH! that's patrick.
patrick?
yes, patrick. patrick star. he's a starfish.
ouhhh. i only remember the yellow square thing.
O.o
*faints.

see! don't you see how wrong that is?! a law should be passed for this. spongebob fans, second me on this! lol.

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my days for the next few weeks are packed, rushing even. one occasion after another. there's work, recces (even recce for food. jalan-jalan cari makan or what), practicals (YAY), ftt, theory trial tests, chalet, isra' mi'raj, one night sunnah, weddings (sadly not mine) just to name a few. they're all squashed up together. awesome or whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

speaking of practical i just got home from mine just now. whee best. i told mr s.k. jewelry (yup, the jewelry shop. amongst the many names that HE gave himself), 'omggg. i like driving, i wanna drive forever.' and for the very first time i drove, i was like a teenage girl talking to her crush. only then, i was no longer a teen and i was not having a crush on anyone near that place. i went, 'ARHHHHH! i'm so excited. this is my first time driving. i am very excited!' it was as if i was part of a groupie for the honda civics motorcar or ssdc. ok, insanely lame, but don't focus on the less important bits ok. just know that i'm having another practical tmr, and my ftt is half an hour before the recce this week.

good luck!

turn it around. 0 comment(s)

yesterday was probably the best day i've had in weeks. felt so... nuwul.
mama even asked, 'kenape happy sangat ni hari?'
it was all smiles and laughter yesterday.

"jutekin jutekin jutekin jutekin kin kin kin kin.
ini sama tak nuwul? ni sama?"

HAHAHAHAH!

i'd relive yesterday any day.
Alhamdulillah. 0 comment(s)

0 comment(s)

you know what is natural?

what's natural is people noticing the negatives of another more than the positives.
what's natural is people grab every chance they get to pin point your mistakes.
it doesn't matter that you've helped more than you are supposed to.
it doesn't matter that you've put in your best effort.
it doesn't matter that you woke up early in the morning just for that.
it just doesn't matter.

but don't be too hard on yourself. it's not like they can help it, they're only human. and likewise for you. if anything, you should focus on yourself more than others. that is the only thing you can change.

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on a lighter note, i guess the reason why i enjoy spending my mondays with mimin so much is because it's so carefree and innocent.
at this point of time, there's a competing desire to look backward and move forward at the same time.

btw, if you happened to talked to me on msn recently, you would know that i want to honeymoon somewhere near athens. xb hehehe. cape sounio!
and people, the moon rise is the reason why.



:) simply gorgeous.
doesn't it remind you of bruce almighty? 0 comment(s)

i can't believe his jaw dropped. what's so unbelievable about it anyways.
and i am so proud of what i have said, 'i don't have to answer that.' ada jelingan maut lagi tau. main main ke. hahaha.
waaah. i feel so empowered.


anyways, at the recce, i saw squirrels playing catching at the tree! best nyer. mcm animal planet. heh.



good day, good day.

you've turned my frown upside down. 0 comment(s)

what failure does is it humbles us.
biar lambat asal selamat.
learn from the patient and you will be just like them.


it's ok, just be sure to never repeat them again. insyaAllah. :) 0 comment(s)

"but after graduation, the pathways blur. in that crazy, wild nexus that people like to call the 'real world', there is no definitive way to get from point A to point B, regardless of whether the points are related to a career, financial situation, home, or social life. the extreme uncertainty that twentysomethings experience after graduation occurs because what was once solid line that they could follow throughout their series of educational institutions has now disintegrated into millions of different options. the sheer number of possibilities can certainly inspire hope - that is why people say that twentysomethings have their whole lives ahead of them. but the endless array of decisions can also make a recent graduate feel utterly lost.

the quarterlife crisis is a response to overwhelming instability, constant change, too many choices, and a panicked sense of helplessness.

while these years, according to older generations, supposed to be the best years of their lives, twentysomethings also feel that the choices they make during this period will influence their thirties, forties, fifties, and on, in an irreparable domino effect. as a result, twentysomethings frequently have the unshakable belief that this is the time during which they have to nail down the meaning of their lives, which explains why they often experience a nagging feeling that somehow they need to make their lives more fulfilling. this is why there are so many drastic life changes at this point in life."

-- quarterlife crisis; robbins and wilner.


i knew there was such a thing as quarter life crisis the first time i spoke those words to my bestie. and i knew whatever i said wasn't made up.
no wonder i feel so out of place and tend to do things i would never have done if i was in a better state of mind. maybe this is just pre-quarterlife crisis, considering that i did just turn twenty, one month one day 17 hours and 35 minutes ago. 0 comment(s)

ok, i am sneaking around using my brother lappy since he is still at work. overtiming or whatever. teehee. naughty naughty. xb

***

"don't be too hard on yourself" :)

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'nuwul, ader telephone.'
*ouh shoots. i am in deep sh*t.
'heloo?'
'OUH NO....'
'you better get your butt here now!'

hahahaha. such a funny reaction. the time was 430pm and i was sleeping away. suppose to meet the besties and boon ee at 4pm.
fashionably late i would say. :b

and gosh it's been forever since i've seen them. one whole month?!
*hugssss. if only i could hug EVERYONE that i miss badly.
and boon ee! a whole four years. not much has changed about her. just her hair, and well... she's a bit more violent. haha. hilarious. it's been awhile since i've laughed that much. hee. X) awesome way to end my day.

thanks. :)


and now i'm in a dilemma. to watch stairways to heaven, or to go to sleep? hmmmmmmmm. 0 comment(s)

bila Allah cepat makbulkan doamu, maka Dia menyayangimu,
bila Dia lambat makbulkan doamu, maka Dia ingin mengujimu,
bila Dia tidak makbulkan doamu, maka Dia merancang sesuatu yang lebih baik untukmu.

oleh itu, sentiasalah bersangka baik pada Allah dalam apa jua keadaan pun... kerana kasih sayang Allah itu mendahului kemurkaanNya.

all or nothing.

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feels very foreign blogging. lappy has officially died. explaining why i don't sign in onto msn as often, or even blog. heh.
i've been watching stairway to heaven, and my eyes are so bengkak. hehehe. sedih banget sih! can't wait to get home and watch it when get back. wheeee. X)

this is harder than anything before this. 0 comment(s)

"you look horrible. i'm just noticing your eyebags."
ghee. thanks eh! hahaha.

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was at the airport yesterday, sending yani off.
emotional for almost everyone there.
me and liy gave her a pillow. love the pillow! hahaha. yay!
something for you to remember us by. rindu rindu, peluk lah ye bantal tu. XD

everything that i wanted to say, have already been said. all that is left to say now is, summer holidays, come quick! hehe.

love you. :)

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now oniisan, kami kirim tendon. bawak balik singapore. hahahahaha. 0 comment(s)

'woah. suara kau rock and roll.'
'you sound sick.'

waking up at 430 in the morning to get to work needs some getting use to.
and i miss the night shift people.
'hi nurul. you miss the night shift?'
'yes i doooooo.'

and there's someone i'm gonna miss terribly come friday.
yaniiiii!
*runs to one corner and starts emo-ing.

though i am excited and happy that my smelly brother is coming back! whoohoo. 0 comment(s)

maybe it's not that important anymore,
thought i don't know that, or even what's in stored.

so just go on with how things are,
because you really can't see what's far,
all you have is what is near,
all you have is what is here.

continue walking and don't look back,
at something that's cracked,
at someone who's packed,
soften your hearts, loosen your mind,
let it go, leave it all behind. 0 comment(s)